This Life

November

It's Monday. Thanksgiving is in a few days. A lot of my extended family is coming over to our house this year. Apparently, my parents have some important news to share with everyone.

A crumpled up ball of paper brings me out of my thoughts. It hits me directly in the centre of my forehead.

"Bullseye!" Chase shouts from across the living room, where he's lounging upside down on his couch. Sarah laughs from beside him.

"What'd you do that for?" I try to put on my best hurt expression as I rub my forehead.

"Dunno, just bored I guess." He flips back around to a proper sitting position and continues talking, "I wonder what's taking them so long."

Me, Sarah and Chase were currently hanging out at Chase's house, waiting for Olivia, Dylan and Tom to get here so we could go roller-skating.

Sarah was just about to say something when the front door swung open and the three of them emerged.

"Sorry, we're late guys, there was traffic." Olivia let us know while crashing on the couch next to Sarah.

Dylan went straight for the kitchen, with Chase following him, probably to make sure he doesn't make a mess. Tom comes and sits next to me.

"Hey." He smiles at me, as he gets comfortable. A lot changed in the past month between Tom and me. After clearing the air, I found out we actually have a lot in common. We've become really close friends. We hang out all the time, even without the others sometimes.

"Hi." I respond with an equally bright smile.

I think we stare at each other a second too long because the next thing I know, there's a pillow in my face and Olivia shouting from the other couch, "Get a room!"

I fix my hair before launching the pillow back at her and sticking my tongue out at her. Just then, Chase and Dylan emerge from the kitchen.

"Come on, let's go! We're gonna be late!" Dylan is clapping his hands and ushering us all outside.

We make it to the roller rink and suddenly my heart starts beating fast and my hands get sweaty. I realise I don't actually know how to skate and everyone in the rink is going entirely too fast for my liking.

We get our skates from the front desk and find a free bench to put them on. My hands start shaking as I'm tying them up. I can't remember how to tie laces. Why can't I remember how to tie my laces? I'm panicking. Yeah, that's what's happening right now. I keep fumbling with my laces, trying not to look stupid for not knowing how to tie laces.

A pair of hands covers my own and I look up to see Tom crouching in front of me. I look around for the others and see them already on the rink.

"I told them to go on ahead." I'm surprised I can hear him over the loud music, "I could see your hands shaking from where I was sitting. I figured you've probably never skated before."

I try to control my breathing before I reply, "yeah, I'm uh, just a little scared I guess." My heart starts beating like normal again. I don't take my eyes off Tom as he finishes tying up my laces.

He stands up after he's done and offers me his hands. I stare at them for a second. I take a deep breath and take them. I nearly fall a second after standing up, but he's got a tight grip on my hands. My heartbeat quickens again. I don't look at Tom because I'm too busy concentrating on my feet so I don't slip. He guides me to the edge of the rink and we're about to walk through the gate but I stop him from pulling me forward.

"I'm scared." I look at him with my pleading eyes.

"It's okay, I got you." He gives me a reassuring smile.

He doesn't ever leave my side, even when I'm going at snail speed. If he's bored, he doesn't show it.

After a while, I get a little better and we catch up with the others.

We skate and we have fun. What more could you want from life?

~

It's Thanksgiving.

There are kids running around the house, some adults in the living room gossiping and drinking, some adults in the kitchen helping prep dinner. Me and my cousin are in the dining room, setting the table.

She's telling some story about who's sleeping with whom in her school. I throw in a few words here and there so she doesn't think I'm being rude. Just as we're finishing setting the table, my parents start to bring the food out. It takes a few trips to the kitchen to get all the food. We are a pretty big family, after all.

Once all the food is laid out on the table, everyone takes their seats, and after a short toast from one of the elders, we dig in.

We all chat and laugh as we eat, throwing around old childhood stories, or showing off the kids' achievements. All while the kids throw food at each and basically make a mess of everything.

By the time we finish dessert, everyone is pretty knackered and most of the kids are crashed out in the living room.

My parents gather everyone back to the dining room to make their announcement I guess. Even I'm eager to hear what it is. They refused to tell me anything, no matter how much I begged and pleaded.

"Okay, okay. Everyone settle down please. We have some news we'd like to share with everyone." My dad tries to get everyone to quieten down. I take a seat next to my cousin. The same one I set the table with.

"Hey, do you know what this is about?" She asks with a curious look on her face. I shrug.

"No idea. They wanted to tell everyone together." I whisper back to her. She turns back around to face my parents.

My mom, my beautiful mom, looks me directly in the eyes when she speaks.

"I have cancer."

I'm sure someone tries to hug me, but I don't feel it.

I'm sure someone says something, but I don't hear it.

All I see is my mom. My beautiful mom, with tears in her eyes. I'm sure there are tears in my eyes as well but I don't care.

This can't be real. She's my mom. She can't have cancer. I haven't graduated from high school yet. She needs to be here for that. She can't leave me.

I haven't moved from my seat in hours. There was a lot of crying, and a lot of hugs but I don't remember it. Most of the family left already. They insisted on staying longer but they have jobs and their kids have school. And my parents insisted they go.

I was still sitting at the dining table. My parents were sitting either side of me. My dad is on my left, and my mom on my right. I haven't said anything. My cheeks, and my lap are wet. I must be crying.

"Please say something." My mom is crying too. I don't look at her but I can tell from the way her voice breaks.

I'm scared. I'm scared if I look at her right now, I won't ever stop crying. She can't have cancer.

"Is it bad?" I whisper through my tears. My throat hurts.

This time my dad speaks, "it's not good."

I close my eyes, and will myself to not let out the sob I'm holding in. I can't cry like this in front of them. I have to be strong. For them. For mom.

I look at dad, then at mom.

I use whatever strength I have left to put on a small smile.

"We'll be okay." I take their hands into mine.

We'll be okay.

We have to be.