The Anthem of the Rebels | ✓

[16] A decisive point in life

Chapter Sixteen

Three a.m.

The crickets and the owls sang their melody and an eerie silence hung low in the house. There were no horns outside, no sound of passing cars. A small lamp was the only source of light in the otherwise dark room.

On his prayer mat, Zahid sat with his back against the wall, a lost expression in his eyes as he thought over a certain Hadith.

He had first heard it from his father when he was nine."You know, Zahid," his father had said to him while tucking him in at night, "There are seven heavens. Allah's throne is at the very top. But in the last third of the night, Allah comes down to the lowest heaven."

"He does?" Zahid had asked, amazed, and his father had nodded, sitting next to him on the bed.

"Yes. And when Allah comes down, He says "Is there anyone to ask Me, so I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness so I may forgive him?" So, whenever you want something, Zahid- whenever you really want something, and whenever you do something wrong and you're really seeking forgiveness- ask for it in tahajjud."

"Tahajjud?" Zahid had repeated, "What's that?"

"It's a prayer, my son. Pray two rakahs, pray four- pray till your heart is at peace." As the vivid memory presented itself before him, Zahid remembered noticing his father's glazed eyes.

Later that night, Zahid had woken up. He had wanted to get a drink from the kitchen but stopped short when he saw his father in the living room. He was sitting on a prayer mat, his hands cupped and raised in dua, his shoulders shaking. That was the first and only time Zahid had seen his father cry this much.

Now, eighteen years later, did Zahid truly understand what his father was going through at that time. His own shoulders shaking as he raised his hands in supplication, Zahid felt an overwhelming wave of emotions crash over him. In the presence of His Lord, Zahid was a vulnerable slave, one who was faced with a decision that clawed at his insides.

"I want to do it, Ya Allah," he whispered, his voice barely audible. Every cell in his heart commanded him to do it, the fire of passion in his heart shimmered and blazed. Do it, it said, this is everything you've ever stood up for.

Despite all of this, Zahid was a man of rationalities and while his heart soared in favor of taking the case, his mind presented thousands of reasons and arguments of why it would not be a good idea. Zahid had never taken over such an important case before since he was not in favor of major publicity, which was bound to come when taking on an important case. He knew it wouldn't be easy either; a hundred forces would be on the work to make him fail, and it would require hard work.

Even if he pushed all of these reasons aside, blurred them out; there was one that stared back at him, in bold. It would be dangerous. The fact that it involved a major politician; one who was bound to do everything within his control to win the case, made it all the more menacing.