Sleep Paralysis

Chapter One

Playlist: BORN ALONE DIE ALONE

"You are the reason she died. She is no more because of you. You are a murderer."

He throws a punch on the boxing bag hanging in the nook of his room. Black leather bag whacking the wall beside it. There was distinct tension in the room. All you can hear was his grunts and the thumping sounds of punches. His sweat was glistening on his forehead and his bare torso, and some drops were trickling down from his eyes.

Was he crying?

No, he can't, boys cannot cry. Right?

"Stay away from relations that hurt you, Ruel. They will return on their own, but the time they return, they are already gone from your heart. And you know, they didn't return because they miss you or they respect your value. They return with grief that is feeding up their souls. The one for whom you are crying today will cry tomorrow in your remorse."

The light struck and dance across the sky and a rumbling thunder boom. These things always take him back to reality. The reality, that is worse than his nightmares.

He stands beside the punching bag for quite a time with empty thoughts. Nothing coming into his mind yet his mind was full of empty thoughts. He was staring deep at his punctured knuckles. The skin on his knuckles was ripped off, little drops of blood were seeping from it.

Why was he doing this to himself?

People ask him the same question every single day. His mother cries in front of him. And beg him to let her know what is going through his head? Why can't he open up? 

His father never looks at him the way he looks before. He was a shame for his father.

"Why can't you be like your brothers? Why you have to do all of this? Every year a new spectacle, new trouble, what sin have we committed, what sin your mother have committed by giving birth to you?" His father's voice was still lucid in his head. This was one of his usual lectures. And maybe he was used to these talks now.

He knows he can't talk about what going on in his head. He did this once and is still paying it.

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Carrying his duffle bag, he makes his way to the garage. He never felt comfortable in this house. Was not comfortable with the people around him either. Hiding his face under a black hoodie, he makes his way towards the car he never owns.

Alexander was a well-known business tycoon in Florida. He was always proud of his boys. But it all started in mid-July, His youngest son Ruel, start behaving oddly. They can't figure out what was that. What was happening to their child? They blame all of this on puberty. But they regret not talking to him when one day they got the news that breaks a happy family image. They got news from the hospital that their kid tried to jump in front of a moving car. But luckily, he survived.

Alexander didn't believe all this and blame the driver. And by use of power that he got, he put the driver in Jail.

But the suicidal tries of Ruel didn't end there. Once his elder brother Axel found Ruel in his bathroom, he fainted and his left wrist was oozing blood. Then once again he tried to jump off the roof. But his brother saved him this time too. With all these suicidal tries, Ruel starts acting weirder. Once he found busted in the door-step, his nose was leaking blood, his eyes were bloodshot. His brain was full of drugs. But still, he was standing there, knocking on the door as nothing happened. On that day Alexander lost it. He didn't try to talk that day. His father just grabs him by his collar and screams all the things on his face.

He wanted him to realize his mistakes but this was their biggest mistake. After screaming and cursing for an hour, they look deeply at him. There was a smile on Ruel's face. When his father stopped talking and shot him a glare, he starts laughing.

He knows why he was doing this. But he can't tell them. He did that once and regretted it.

Getting in his brother's blue mustang, he throws the bag in the backseat. The car roar to life. This was his way to start a weekend. Get in his brother's car. Drive senselessly. Gave it some scratches. Think of different ways of how to suicide. Then come home when couldn't find one.

He was driving it above the speed limit. Rock music was blasting in the car. Rock was never his thing. He remembered back in middle school, kids make fun of him for liking blues instead of Jazz, rock, and hip-hop. So, he changed himself for others but did the change was worthy. No, they still left him.

Stopping the car on red light he was drumming his fingers on the steering and was scowling at the same time.

The light turns yellow and then green. Cars start moving beside him and those who were behind him start honking senselessly. But he was not there anymore.

Rae was holding his father's new coffee shop pamphlets. Passing them to strangers walking beside her. She was always having this energy. The positive energy. Her aura was different yet strong. She was always ready to mend. But this is what Ruel hates about her.

These good girls have to leave this motto 'we are here to mend broken boys'. It is not always the same. Sometimes these good girls got broken while mending them.

The loud honking makes Rae look towards her left. She saw a blue mustang stand in between the road. Blocking the way. A smile makes its way on her lips. With a steady and beautiful pace, she makes her way towards Ruel.

And this was an indication for Ruel to pass a disgusted look and drive.

Why he did that? No one knows.

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