Three Ways (Wattys 2015)

3. Don't Lie about Poopie In the Hall

3. Don’t Lie about Poopie In the Hall

Eli

Brooke seemed grumpier than Voldermort as she stomped back to the living room where I and Lidia followed her, with me groaning as I held my throbbing head. Brooke muttered something under her breath before turning towards us. That’s when I noticed how disheveled her auburn hair had gotten, they kind of resembled a red curly bush as she stood wrapped in the blanket I had covered her with while she was asleep. See, I am such a nice person and all I got as a reward were her snarky remarks; Ungrateful wench.

She was wearing those toe socks which made her feet appear like rainbow alien feet. I smiled mentally, I loved toe socks, they were so fun and colorful and they tots looked hot on my fabulous feet.

“Oye, if you are done ogling at me, will you kindly help me find my skates and helmet so I can get out of here already?” She spat out with a sneer and for a minute I felt like hurtling a pillow at her to make her look less……scary. Like, come on, man, no girl looks nice when her hair is all bushy while her face is the incarnation of a pissed off Dolores Umbridge.

“You know, all you need is pink clothes and viola, you shall be the perfect personification of a red head version of Umbridge.” I blurted out and both the girls let out strangled gasps in the room. Lidia seemed like she was very confused about how to act as she looked at me in horror while Brooke just narrowed her eyes slowly and gave me one of the most murderous look yet. “Okay okay, Jeez, I was kidding.”

Brooke’s mood darkened even more thanks to me and my big mouth as she pushed past me and started making her way upstairs, I followed her and that’s when I noticed a red stain on the back of the blanket wrapped around her, for a minute my mind processed what I had seen before a shudder went through me and I stopped causing Lidia to bump into me. Okay, think, wise one, think, what should I do in this situation?

“Elliot, move you idiot! You aren’t transparent, unless you’re a ghost which you aren’t or unless you’re a poltergeist which yo-“ I interrupted her babbling with a shush and she gave me an offended ‘don’t you shush me.’ Look.

“I am fabulous and everyone knows it!” I exclaimed out loud, trying to signal Lidia to walk with me back downstairs but the only thing she did was give me a weird look and even Brooke stopped on the stairs, turning back to give me her infamous grumpy cat ‘what are you doing now’ look, I presume. Why does she even glare at me so hatefully, it’s not like I have done anything to her except be an epically hot person. Without thinking of my actions, I suddenly grabbed Lidia by the back of her shoulders and steered her back to the living room, ignoring her confused protests as she tried to stop herself.

Of course, because of my strength she stood no chance of stopping me.

“Elliot? What the actual hell are you doing?” She inquired, her eyes shining with the aim to find something and smack it on my head to just check if I was actually in my senses or not. I had a sudden urge to strike a pose and say ‘oh darling, yes I am in my senses, the question is; are you? For not pouncing on this fine body the first time you saw it.’ and wiggle my eyebrows at her but alas there was no time so instead I just pointed at Mrs. Morley.

“Keep an eye on her, she tends to snore in her sleep.” I said; my brain slightly slow at the moment and when I caught her expression, I just grinned goofily at her. “I mean sleepwalk, don’t you dare move.”

With that I ran back to the stairs where Brooke had finally gotten over my weird outburst, unfortunately and started moving towards Steven’s room. Feeling like Flash, I rushed towards her just when Steven opened the door and without any warning, I grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door shut again.