Song & Story

Ｈｅａｔｈｅｒ

(Inspired by "Heather" by Conan Gray)

   December 3rd was cold and Janesville, Wisconsin was graced with a light layer of snow. Hardly anyone on the bus was bundled up, seeing as it wasn't considered cold out yet to the locals. But coming from Corpus Christi, Texas, seven months prior, it was cold to me. I wasn't prepared for the lack of heat, and I didn't have time on my way out the door to grab any sort of sweater or jacket. I barely managed to grab by backpack before running out the door, my white high-top Converse sliding on the icy walkway. The weather didn't agree with me, and frankly, I wasn't a fan of it either.

   I stumbled to the bus stop and barely caught myself from falling flat on my butt in front of the students there. I smiled and laughed nervously at them, but they only rolled their eyes and looked away.

   It wasn't easy being the new kid in town, and it was even harder being gay. Well, I'm still in the closet to everyone except my family, so they didn't actually know. But I had a feeling the student population of Janesville High School weren't totally oblivious to my sexuality. My baggy, rolled jeans and large sweatshirts and shirts did nothing to fool anyone.

   I could see my nose was pink and quickly progressing towards red, and raised my hands over my nose and mouth in an attempt to warm myself up. No one paid me any heed, as per usual. I was beginning to shiver when I heard a voice behind me.

   "Hey, Sam, right?"

   I turned and my heart jumped to my throat. It was Elijah, one of the cutest boys at Janesville High. He held a red sweater in his hands, and the tip of his nose was tinged ever so pink. His beautiful blue eyes caught mine and I found myself blushing, though it probably just looked like I was cold.

   I nodded.

   "You cold?"

   "A little, yeah," I admitted with a weak smile.

   He grinned and my heart fluttered. God, that smile...

   "Want my sweater? I brought it in case I got too cold but I don't think I'll need it. Besides, it looks like you need it more."

   I could only nod. He smiled and handed it to me. I quickly pulled it over my head, inhaling his scent, feeling slightly dizzy. What I wouldn't give for this to be the norm between us.

   "Thanks," I said breathlessly.

   "'Course," he said, then smirked. "Looks better on you than it does on me. Red really brings out your eyes."

   Be still my beating heart!

   "Thanks!" I said again with an uncontrollable grin.

   Just then, the bus pulled up to our stop before I could do anything stupid. I rushed onto the bus quickly and sat down in the back, trying my best to calm myself down.

   It's just his sweater you idiot, nothing to freak out about. Besides, you have no idea if he would even like you back. There's no guarantee that he's into guys!

   But it's his sweater...

   He sat down a couple rows ahead of me, and from where I sat I could see his perfect face at just the right angle. I tried to keep it subtle and steal sneaky glances at him every now and then. A gaggle of girls boarded the bus a couple minutes later led by a beautiful blonde cheerleader I recognized as Heather from my chemistry class. She was Janesville's resident female heartthrob, and nearly all the guys were tripping over themselves to impress her. I may not be into girls, but I can't deny that she was beautiful, and she was nice too. She walked past Elijah and I noticed the look on his face. He was absolutely star-struck, and my heart sank. He grinned softly and my heart ached. I slid to the window and looked out at the snow-covered trees.

   There was still hope for me. He could be bisexual, I told myself. Truth be told, I had no idea. But it was the least I could hope for in order to keep me sane.

   Yeah...maybe he's bi...

~*~

   Two days later, I miraculously remembered to bring a jacket. I'd returned Elijah's sweater back to him before leaving school two days prior, though I just barely managed to keep myself from saying anything dumb.

   Fifth period had just let out and I reluctantly stopped daydreaming about kissing Elijah and gathered my things and walked to the cafeteria, dropping off my books along the way. I grabbed a lunch tray and let the lunch ladies fill it with whatever they happened to be serving today. The whole time, I scanned the room, searching for Elijah and his gorgeous blue eyes. I sat down mechanically at a table in the corner where I could see the doorway. After three minutes of watching to no avail, I sighed and half-heartedly dug into the food on my tray. I'd nearly finished what I assumed to be mac n' cheese when I heard loud laughter from the doorway. I looked up and my spoon froze halfway to my mouth.

   It was Elijah and next to him was Heather. She wore a red sweater that looked vaguely familiar, and with a jolt of my stomach, I recognized it as Elijah's sweater that he had let me borrow two days ago. They were holding hands, and as I watched, he raised his arm and draped it over her shoulder. I felt myself grow cold and numb. Her blue eyes sparkled nearly as bright as Elijah's. There was no mistaking the mesmerized look in his eyes; he loved her.

   He's in love with Heather...

   I wasn't even aware of running to the nearest boys' bathroom, abandoning my lunch tray, until I was bent almost double over a sink sobbing so hard I could barely breathe.

   Elijah was straight. Elijah was straight and in love with Heather. Elijah was straight and I'm gay and I'm in love with Elijah but he's straight. He would never kiss me, why would he ever kiss me? I wasn't even close to as pretty as Heather was. And I was a guy, and he's not into guys in that way...

   It's not that I hate Heather, she's done nothing to me to deserve that. But a deep dark part of me wished she wasn't alive. Maybe if she wasn't alive, Elijah might love me...

   Who was I kidding? Elijah would still be straight even if Heather wasn't around. And it's not like the sweater meant anything, it was just cheap polyester. But deep down, I knew he would never love me.

   I left school early under the pretense that I felt incredibly sick. As soon as I got home, I went upstairs and laid down in my bed, tears streaming silently down my face.

   God, how I wished I were Heather...

   I wish I were...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Hey guys! I was inspired to write this short story last night when I was sad and listening to the very song I based this around! I'm still in somewhat of a hiatus, so I'm sorry if there are no other updates from me soon, but I'm really looking forward to writing these! 

If you guys have any recommendations or suggestions for a song to base a short story around, please drop a comment or PM me or leave a message on my message board; I'd love to hear your suggestions!

That's all for now, so stay safe, stay healthy, and stay strong lovelies! <3

~ Rori