𝐊𝐩𝐨𝐩 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏- 𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒐

"𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒂𝒚. 𝑪𝒖𝒛 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆 ♡"

-

𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒋𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒂𝒊𝒏

I sat silently, hunched over with a sense of loss, so powerful that my muscles wouldn't even respond to my commands. I gazed into the far distance, unseeing but fixed on the imaginary future without the love of my life.

My throat started tightening and even with a short intake of breath, i still couldn't hide my emotions to this day, I couldn't just managed to keep it buried deep inside. The image of things shared with a love one which were not to come, was too powerful and gut wrenching to be hidden inside. My tears welled from deep inside and coursed down my cheeks. I hated this dreaded day, its been 2 years since he was taken away from this world. I know i promised him i would move on, but it wasn't that easy. "You'll find someone else I'm sure of it...i'll make sure of it. He'll take care of you better than what i ever did. You'll be happy again, please promise me you'll be happy again even once i'm gone". Those sentences. They keeping lingering in  the back of my head. 

This place, this cafe. I look around, i recollect all the memories of him and I. We used to come here every day after school to talk and do our homework and even after we went to University/collage we would meet on the weekends. We dated for almost 5 years. Those five years were some of the best years of my life. I was even pregnant with our child, but even that i lost 3 months after. I had nothing left of him, but the memories and the old notes he used to leave in my locker or in my bedroom whenever he came over. 

I look up at the sky, the day was overcast and gloomy, dark clouds, heavy with rain that was ready to burst. The clouds thundered and flashed streaks of lightening across the sky line, then droplets started falling, few at first, but within a short amount of time it turned into a heavy downpour. It was like there was a wall of water raining down on you, preventing you to hardly see through it. Everyone around started running trying to get under shelter. But i just sat outside the cafe, the water poured onto me, my clothes started sticking to my skin. Usually i would be disgusted, shivering and would try to find shelter like any other normal person would. But i wasn't normal anymore, ever since the day he died, it was like he took a piece of me with him. A piece that made up most of me, the most beautiful parts of me. And just like that it was all gone. 

The rain trickled down my face onto my cheeks and fell off my lips. I liked it, no one could tell i was crying, to them it just looked like rain. I wish it would rain all day, so that its like someone is crying for me instead. I wish that it would rain all day cause maybe then, people wouldn't stare at me. A lady started yelling at me to take shelter, that i was going to get sick. But i just ignored her words. When it rains, its like i have a friend, as if it knocks at my window asking if i'm doing okay. I'm not lonely when the rain is pouring so please don't leave me. Suddenly a shadow is caste upon me. The droplets of water no longer touching my face. I opened my eyes and look up to see an umbrella, covering the face of who was holding it. The person slowly moves the umbrella, allowing me to catch a glimpse of their face. "Your going to get sick, your loved ones are going to be so worried of you" said a soft voice. "There's no one out their to be worried for me, i have no one. They all left me" i replied with no emotion. "Well you do now", said the soft voice again. I could finally see his face. "Why are you sitting in the rain"?  "Because then no one knows I'm crying." A sad but soft smile appeared on his face once again, he reminded me of an angel. His soft features, his sparkly eyes and that smile that was made to bright up anyone's day. Maybe even mine. "Come on lets get you inside". 

He grabs my hand gently like as if i were made out of glass, and leads me into the cafe. The smell of coffee and sweets fill the air. Making me recall my past, I hadn't gone inside since the incident. He pulls out a chair tells me to sit down. He goes inside and grabs a towel so I could dry myself. "Thank you" i say softy barely audible for him to hear. A small smile appears on his face. "Why are you helping me, you don't even know me, why do u care so much" i ask coldly. I wasn't trying to be mean, but i didn't need another person coming into my life, just so they can be taken away from me again. " That's where you're wrong" he replied back. I look up at him, our eyes meeting once again. The more I look at him, the more i notice similarities between him and my ex lover, they both have the same soft brown eyes. I realised that i had been staring a bit to long, so I shift my gaze to the flowers on the counter. "What do u mean" I asked curiously . " I've known for quite some time now, maybe 6 years, but i guess you've never noticed me", he replied with a small hint of sadness in his tone. 

"But that's enough about me, why where you siting outside in the rain?" he asked back changing the subject. I hesitated questioning if i should tell this random stranger all the things i have been holding inside me. All the things that have been waiting to be let out. I take a deep breathe, " Its my boyfriends death anniversary today, it's been two years but it still hurts" i replied look down to avoid his eyes. Tear threatened to spill out, but i had to hold it in. Although i could see his face. i could tell he was shocked. "I-I don't know w-what to say, I'm so sorry" he said. I sadly laughed to myself " its not like it your fault". His face sadden as soon as I said that. 

"Tell me about him, if that's okay with you" he asked cautiously. "Well.... he was my everything, my best friend, my lover, he was like my parents. My parents both passed away when i was young, so i grew up in a foster home. When I first met him, i was so happy. I felt like I finally  belonged, like i was actually wanted in this world. He was my first friend, because of him i made more. But after he passed away I slowly  pushed them away, I didn't want them to see how much pain I was in. They tried telling me that i would eventually move on and that he was always with us , but its not that easy. Letting go of someone who was the reason you decided to keep living" I said trying not to get to emotional."How did you to first meet?" he asked.  "When i first went to my school, i was a loner, i had no one. And i guess he noticed how lonely i was. So he used o drop small letter into my locker and that's how we became close. The letter were so cute, they told me to keep smiling and that everything would get better. And eventually he started confessing to me in the letters. And that's when he came up to me in person and told me it was him all along". Those letters were the whole reason why i fell in love with him. Those letters made me realise that i was wanted, and that i was beautiful .If it weren't for those letters i probably wouldn't have said yes to him when he asked me out".

I study the boys face to see his reaction, he looked sad but i could see a hint of anger in his eyes. I was confused why did he seem angry.  "Hey-- uuhhhhh- you okay" i ask realising i still didn't know the boy name. I look down and see his name on a plastic tag, Jungwoo. "Jungwoo you okay" i ask again waiting for a reply. "Oh yeh, yeh I was just thinking about something" he replied. 

To be continued...

- 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒚 𝑮

𝑨/𝑵: 𝑺𝒐 𝒊𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 2 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒂𝒉𝒉𝒂. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒋𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚. 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕. 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒖 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕.