I wore my heart on my sleeve and you taught me to roll my sleeves up so that people wouldn't notice.
You told me to hold my head up high and pretend my emotions weren't swarming inside me
You would remind me to choke on my words rather than spit them blindly so that I seemed more "rational"
You fought me to bury the parts of myself that I thought made me unique
And instead you showed me they just made me annoying
Now when my emotions are spilling from my heart into my lungs making it hard for me to breathe, I remember that you would hold me when I cried but would run away when I breathed a word of love
And I hold my breath
And I drown in my feelings
And I wonder how you survive the drought
You said it wasn't in you to love, but it isn't in me to let go
