A Reason to Live

My Reason

"Sorry...I mean Angelo," Nero smiles slightly, just enough to break Angelo's walls down a little. This was a smile he never thought he'd get to see again.

The bartender sets down two double shots of Lawless Heaven in front of the two men. They each take a shot, setting down the glasses together, waving the bartender over for another.

"What are you doing here?" Angelo asks quietly, unable to take his eyes away from the face before him. Nero had longer hair and his pointed beard was fuller, it made him look older.

"I finally found Fio and told her what had really happened. She's due in 5 months, it's hard to believe." Nero smiles, sitting down next to Angelo. "I had a lot of time to think about everything that happened seven years ago, six months ago and three months ago. I felt like I didn't get to say everything properly so...I decided to come back."

"Why? You should have stayed with Fio and the baby," Angelo took another shot of whiskey. "Were you that worried about abandoning me in the middle of nowhere, with nothing, instead of just ending everything between us?" He laughs, lightly.

Maybe he'll finally tell me why...

"Yes...I was," Nero smiles. "I was a lot more worried about you than I should have been and I don't know why. I should have been able to walk away, to forget, to move on...but no matter what I tried, nothing worked."

"I guess you can finally say goodbye and move on now," Angelo held back his tongue. This was not the place to push Nero into explaining everything.

"I was planning on staying the night," Nero takes another shot of whiskey. "If you don't have any objections, can I stay with you?"

Angelo stares at the soft expression across Nero's face. Not a hint of malice or discuss...just sadness.

"Luckily I've got a room a little bigger than a tent now," Angelo smiles.

Nero laughs before downing another shot of whiskey.
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A full bottle later, they make it back to Angelo's room, setting the food in the kitchen before they both fall on the bed, trying to take their shoes off, unsuccessfully.

"Why don't....you help," Nero smiles, holding his foot towards Angelo.

Angelo laughs as he grabs the foot, quickly pulling the boot off his right foot before grabbing the left.

"Wow..." Nero laughs, falling back on the bed.

"What? You asked for my help," Angelo smiles, leaning over Nero after he's tossed the boots on the floor. He could smell Nero's cologne as he leaned back on his elbow, next to Nero. The older man was still laughing as he rolled onto his side to face Angelo.

"I missed you..."

The words slipped off Angelo's tongue without a second thought. He honestly had missed his friend, his brother, his...

Nero hand reached out to cup Angelo's face, earning a soft reply from the younger man as he leaned closer, closing his eyes.

'I didn't want to kill you...' Angelo's words had echoed in his mind for months, as he tried to understand why...why didn't he want to? Nero wanted to understand why he held back after everything that Angelo had done to him, his family, his friends...but Angelo had been a part of his world, even if for only a sort while. He honestly loved him...

"Angelo...I..." Nero's voice was raspy as he tried to say the words his mind had just found, he leaned closer, running a small circle over Angelo's jaw.

Angelo opened his ashin eyes at the gentle touches, staring into the steel blue eyes as he tried to breathe, his vision starting to blurry.

Nero whiped away the tears, pulling their faces closer together. Taking one last breath, he wanted to convey his feelings, his desires to Angelo...but the words wouldn't come out. He held Angelo's face tighter, moving his fingers down the thin neck, gently grazing over the warmth under his fingertips.

"Nero..." Angelo laughed lightly as he stopped crying, wrapping his fingers around Nero's wrist, opening his eyes once more. "That tickles."

"Sorry..." he smiles, raising his fingers up to Angelo's hair. "I just really wanted to touch you..."

"Can I...?" Angelo let's go of Nero's wrist, moving his fingers to touch the amber beard in front of him. "I see you finally got rid of that ridiculous thing you called a beard..." he giggles.

"Hey...I liked my beard," Nero whins, smiling. "I thought I'd be less recognizable without it though."

"I like this," Angelo whispers, his fingers playing with the strands. "It makes you look more distinguished... more handsome."

"Are you complimenting me?" Nero grins, tightening his grasp of Angelo's hair by the base of his neck.

"Never..." Angelo smiles, leaning into the touch.

"I've..." Nero's breath hitches as he collects his thoughts. "I've always wanted to see you smile like this. I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to see your face again."

"Yeah...I missed your stupid face too," Angelo says, closing his eyes. "I'll be really sad when I wake up from this dream and you're gone tomorrow... like you always are..."

"But I..." Nero starts to say, saddened by the words on the lips in front of him.

Was this a dream? Did I really drive all the way here? Or am I passed out drunk again in my car?

If this was a dream...

"Angelo..."

Angelo's eyes open as Nero leaned in, his beard tickled Angelo's chin as he closed the space between them, their noses bumping together.

"Nero...why did you come back..." he whispers against the older man's lips.

"...for you," Nero moved his hand behind Angelo's neck, cupping his face. "You are my reason to live..."

A soft gasp escapes Angelo's lips as he feels and tastes Nero's convictions.