~i'm rlly proud of this one, i might make it into a story if you guys want! leave a comment 💞
word count: 1250
spicy level: none, angst though
⚠️talks about depression⚠️
y/n rarely ever doubted herself, she never asked herself is she was pretty enough or smart enough. because she knew she was. she knew she was good enough, maybe not to others but for herself and in the end that's all that really mattered. but recently she found herself doubting her power or her beauty. it wasn't a strong feeling, it was more of a whisper. a soft voice in the back of her head. doubting what she could do, wondering if she would ever be good enough. these thoughts where new to y/n. she wondered why boys didn't throw themselves at her or ask for her number. she wondered if she was skillful enough to achieve her goals. she wondered and wondered. with all this time on y/n hands she kept thinking. it was eating away at her slowly. drowning her in her own dark thoughts.
time went on rather slowly around y/n. it seemed although everyone knew what they where doing and where they where going. people where busy around her, frantically trying to get there work down or even just doing chores. nobody really noticed that she was slipping away rather quickly. because life moves on outside her bubble, and it moves quickly. she realized that. and that was hard, hard for her to swallow.
unfortunately in y/n case there wasn't a hero to come in and swoop her up. there wasn't anyone to sit with her and listen to her, or just sit in silence. y/n felt more alone there ever. she was good at hiding her feelings, so good people didn't even notice she was hurting. she wanted someone to be there for her but she didn't know how to ask for help. but y/n didn't realize that she was not alone. others felt the same as her, maybe didn't feel the same pain as her but could understand. she just needed to be open to it. and that was hard for her.
he was struggling as well. being popular has its downsides, trust me he would know. having to pretended to be happy all the time was exhausting for oikawa. he was a master at it though, and it started feeling normal. his brain went on airplane mode, it felt although he was watching his life through a screen. so he would put every ounce of himself left into volleyball. practicing every day, and not stopping until he felt satisfied. but the thing is when your sad nothing feels good enough. so oikawa would pratice constantly. he would pratice to the point where he would be in pain. physically pain that ended with him having a knee brace. so when his team lost to shiratorzawa it broke him. he had nothing left to fight for anymore. it was over for oikawa.
time went by for him to, it felt like everyday was the same one. waking up, practing, school and work. it drained him and he felt like he had no purpose anymore. on the train home he would sit next to a girl. she had brown hair, deep green eyes that never met his and a sad smile. he felt some comfort in being close to her. her aura was sad but comfortable and he couldn't help but steal glances from her. oikawa decided that he was going to fight for her. he needed someone or something to push him to keep going. and he decided that thing was her.
when y/n went to the train on her way home, everyday a boy with soft brown hair sat next to her. he smiled at her everyday, his smile reached his brown eyes. it made her stomach do flips. she would return the smile, but hers wouldn't reach her eyes. y/n sat on the train set fidgeting with her keys. the boy noticed this and commented on her keys. "those are cute keys." oikawa said motioning to her hello kitty keys. "pft thanks, i've had them for a while.." y/n said softly. "well this is my stop." y/n said getting up. "i'm sure i'll see you tomorrow." she beamed. "yeah of course." oikawa said. before she left the train oikawa got up, thinking of offering to walk her home. but before he could get to the door she stepped out and it closed. y/n could see his face through the door staring into her green eyes. shaking her head she started walking pulling her head phones into her ears. the fall leaves crunched under her shoes and her breath shook. y/n didn't even realize she was crying until she touched her face. brushing her tears off she walked faster feeling them come down her face. she didn't know why she was crying but it hurt.
oikawa paced his room back and forth. he promised y/n he would see her tomorrow but that promise was harder to keep than her realized. he sighed and sunk under the covers. he shifted until he felt comfortable, his thought consisted of one thing. the girl on the train.
the next morning the sun shone through his window. the bird chirped waking him up, he shifted around in his bed not wanting to get up. remembering his promise to the girl on the train he got out of bed. oikawa looked in the mirror, his hair was messy and his eyes had dark bags under them. today was different, he fixed his hair and threw on clean clothes. he wanted to impress her, and this was the best he could do right now.
y/n woke up to darkness. her room was pitch black but her phone screen shone some light. she rolled out of bed and stopped her alarm. she turned on her lights and grabbed a hoodie and jeans. she pulled her dark brown hair enough a ponytail and put on her glasses. y/n thought of the boy on the train, secretly hoping she would see him today. she missed his smile and looked forward to it. she grabbed her bag and threw in her keys, sketch book and water bottle. y/n ran down the stairs and slipped on her shoes. she opened the door and breathed in the crisp fall air. she smiled to herself as she walked to the train.
oikawa was running late, he barely made it to the train. but y/n held the train door open for him. they sat down together and oikawa smiled at her. this time y/n smiled back at him. and her smile touched her eyes, her nose crinkled and she twiddle her fingers. oikawa was shocked, her smile was beautiful and he wanted to make her smile again. little did he know he would be doing a lot of that. "hey, what's your name? i've been calling you the girl on the train. it's a fitting name but i rather have your real one." oikawa stammered. he was usually calm talking to girls but you where different. "i'm y/n y/l/n, and you?" y/n said. "ah oikawa tōuro!" he smiled. "it is nice to finally know your name!" y/n said. oikawa smiled at her as he held out some milk bread. "want some~" he said in a playful voice. "sure!" y/n said. her slender fingers reached out as she grabbed the piece from him. as she did her hands touched his sending shivers down his spine. the sun shone through the window of the train highlighting her beautiful features. oikawa realized he was holding his breath, he sighed and gave her another smile. the train slowed down and y/n go up to leave. "this is my stop. i'll see you tonight?" she said looking at oikawa. "yeah sure, maybe i can walk you home tonight... i mean if you want." he said. "okay i would like that, thanks oikawa-chan." she said smiling as she got of the train. her brown hair flew in the wind as she got of the train. oikawa waved goodbye through the tiny window, his heart was beating faster than normal.
hey guys! this is it for part one, i might make this into a separate story if you guys want. so for now it will be uncontiuned. but again comment or message me if u want me to continue this.
another small note: i wanted to write something a bit more personal, this story means a lot to me and i hope it helped some of you guys. if you ever need to talk about anything i'm here for you. stay cool guys
kayla-chan out <3
