While She Sleeps

Three

A battle is coming.

We're less than 24 hours away from a possibly apocalyptic battle. People will be lost, but I know one person who won't be. The woman in my arms will live another few decades, continue to save the world, again and again. I just hate that I won't be able to see her do it.

I know I won't survive. Call me pessimistic, but I'm just being truthful. I won't let the world lose Buffy Summers again. That bloody amulet will probably be my undoing, but I don't mind. If sacrificing my pathetic life saves even two lives, it'll be worth it.

I feel Buffy tighten her arms around me as she sleeps. I'm glad she finally got some rest. The bloody First decided to pay her a surprise visit, and I wasn't sure if she'd be able to get any sleep after that. I could hear her heart beating faster, an hour after it left. When she finally relaxed in my arms, I decided to stay up to make sure it doesn't make a return. I know The First is evil and all, but messing with your opponents best fighter the night before a battle should be considered cheating or something. Granted, no one knew our surprise plan for tomorrow, but you get my point.

A few months ago, if you told me the Slayer would be asleep in my arms, my first question would be how much clothing was involved. My second response would be to laugh. Sure, she'd accidentally fallen asleep in my arms after a night of fun in my crypt, but this is completely different. This time, I'm perfectly content with just holding her, no strings attached.

My eyes move to the amulet. I don't know what it does, exactly, but I'm certain the person who wears it won't make it out alive. She should've just had Captain Forehead wear it into battle. I'd finally be rid of him, once and for all. But of course, Buffy would always see him as this fantastic bloody martyr. She'd never let him go, not that she has.

I don't know what to think about that kiss. She insists that it was just a "hello", but I don't think she or anyone else would take too kindly if I greeted Red that way. If she saw me kiss Drusilla, Buffy would immediately accuse me of turning my back on her. She'd accuse me of using her as a fuck toy, the way she did to me. I guess that means that I truly do love the Slayer. Drusilla would sleep around and my heart would break. The mere thought or memory of Buffy kissing someone else, sent me into a blind rage. I wanted to pull that bloody prat off of her and dust him then and there.

I know that it has to be me. I may not be around to see her response to sacrificing myself for the greater good, but I know that she'll always see me in a good light, after that. She may not ever love me, but she'll think highly of me. Higher than she did in the beginning, at least. That's more than I ever hoped for.

I'm almost certain that I won't be going up to see the Pearly Gates, but wherever I end up, I know I'll watch over her, protect her, just as I have been. And if I end up in hell, where I belong, I'll sabotage any demon's plans to attack. My promise of protecting her and Little Bit won't turn to dust the moment I do.

When Buffy snuggles closer, I'm reminded that I need my own rest. If I'm going to stop the apocalypse, I might as well get some rest first. I hold her tighter before closing my eyes.

"Goodnight, my love."