Voldemort's Escapades

:D

Voldemort is in a relationship with Hedwig. Voldemort identifies as autism gender. Hedwig identifies as non-binary. He cheats on Hedwig with the Sorting Hat. Voldemort is in love with both of them. He secretly wants to be in a threesome with both of them but is too afraid to ask Hedwig. He also sometimes gets with his ex, Dobby the house-elf.

Today, Voldemort met someone new whose name was Fabio. There was an instant connection between them. Fabio introduced him to so many people. Those people were Jesus, Jeffrey Dahmer, Logan Paul, Danny DeVito, Hitler, Vladimir Putin, and all the Teletubbies. Voldemort fell in love with all of them as well. Now his want for a threesome grew to a fifteen-some.

Voldemort couldn't keep these feelings to himself for any longer and decided to tell everyone that he was in love with all of them. Everyone was shook, but eventually agreed with having a fifteen-some. Then Fabio said he wanted to include his boyfriend, Brando. Everyone was happy to have more people joining. The Teletubbies wanted to invite their lord and savior, the Sun-Baby. Everyone was also joyous for the next new addition to their group. Putin also wanted to add someone. He wanted to add Pepe, his daddy. Once again, everyone was ecstatic for the new addition. The previous fifteen-some now grew to an eighteen-some.

Voldemort, Hedwig and the Sorting Hat had the greatest experience of their lives. Hedwig and the Sorting hat were so turned on by Voldemort's autism. Voldemort was penetrating the Sorting Hat's monstrous hole, and Hedwig shoved his beak down Voldemort's hole.

In a dark room where the curtains remain drawn over the windows and where candles are lit lay three individuals on a bed. Pepe tied Putin and Hitler to the bedpost and decided to do some bondage play. After tying them up with rope, Pepe slides into Putin as he moans in pleasure. Putin gives Hitler a handjob while this is all happening. Suddenly, the door slams open and there standing in the doorway is Stalin. Stalin, seeing what's happening starts crying. His boyfriend, Hitler, left him out of this which made him very sad. Seeing this, Hitler asks Daddy Pepe for permission to add Stalin in their activities. Daddy Pepe, being kind and understanding lets Stalin join them. Stalin is now giving Hitler a blowjob.

Meanwhile, in the room next door there were three more unique people. These three people are Danny DeVito, Jeffery Dahmer, and Logan Paul who are all cuddling on a bed. Danny DeVito brings up Big Ed, his true love. Everyone in the room was even more shook. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Big Ed walked in. Jeffery Dahmer and Logan Paul were stunned by his beauty. His presence was so hypnotic that everyone in the room knew that he had to be added to their eighteen-some, making it now a nineteen-some.

Now, a month later, everything has been going magnificently in their scandalous nineteen-some. Everyone has never been happier, with Jesus Christ and Sun-Baby blessing them all. Voldemort is so glad his life took such a thrilling turn. He now has eighteen people to share his love with, making his relationship almost perfect. It's just now Voldemort's thirst for more partners hasn't been fully fulfilled, wracking him with guilt. He went to sleep with the thoughts of a specific person in his mind, knowing that it could never happen. 

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Note -  Fabio and Brando are from the show Baby :)