Fallen

one

I was abused by my mother. My father says its her way of showing affection for me. He's just scared of her.

My mother used to be so beautiful she was a model in fact. She luscious hair. The perfect golden cheekbones which complimented her icy blue eyes. And her body, her body was so thin and long. She moved gracefully no matter what she did.
I remember her looking like a real angel when I was about 5. I would always observe the things my mother did. Everyday, 2pm sharp, she would spend time by herself smoking a cigarette while drinking black coffee off the balcony of our small apartment. And she would always be playing her favorite Aretha Franklin record while painting her nails a bright red.

I think maybe it was a real angel i saw that day because the beautiful woman i just described was not the woman she is today. My mother is a mess. A beautifully sad mess- with an angry temper. It all started when i turned 15 and i had bigger responsibilities to hold onto. Now we've all had a few arguments with our parents at this age, whether it was about the way you live your life, or school or drama. But our arguments did not compare to others. Normal families would overcome these situations by talking it out calmly. For my family it was completely different.

She wanted me to become a model just like her. She tried putting me on a diet, starving me, because I wasn't skinny enough. She started back drinking and smoking heavily everday. My mother was hit me and screaming at me with all her lungs. My father saw it all happen and did nothing. He just watched my mother tattooed bruises all over my skin and speak to me with hatred words.