It sucks. It sucks that two people who have experienced, battled against, and beaten so much, must have the one thing that makes them happiest, be the one that causes them the most pain. It sucks that they can not get what they deserve. They look left to see a happy couple in a loving embrace and then look right to see another happy couple, this one sharing a sweet and tender kiss. It sucks that this is one of the many loving embraces Couple One will have throughout the day and this kiss by Couple Two, is one of many upon many of kisses they share daily, yet they have never experienced either, even once. It sucks that these innocent acts, can evoke the harsh emotions of sadness, pain, anger, jealousy. It sucks these innocents acts, can seem like something being rubbed in your face. It sucks that two people who are so close, are so far away. It sucks that no matter what is said through a phone, nothing will compare to the feeling of their partner being there, physically with them. It sucks that this feeling of their partner being with them, is one neither of them has experienced. It sucks trying to use a pillow or a teddy bear as a representative, because nothing will be truly as great as wrapping your arms around them.
However, I would not have it any other way.
If we were so close, maybe we would have never met, making us the furthest away as possible. If we were so close, maybe I would have done something to ruin things between us before they could ever get going. If we were so close, our first eye contact, smile, hug, and kiss shared together, would never be as sweet as it will eventually be.
It's amazing. It's amazing how great the distance can be. It gives me something to look forward to and work hard for everyday. It gives me an inspiration to be the very best person I can be, because it's what they'd want. It makes me hopeful that there are many couples like us, madly in love. It makes me think positive, that all the pain and sadness I've endured, was worth it and is what brought me to meeting you. It's amazing how much I appreciate the little things. Just a simple "hello :)", a five minute call or FaceTime, seeing your smile, hearing your voice and adorable giggle, hearing about your day, hearing about something you accomplish, makes me smile like no other. It's amazing how my fingers could keep typing all night about you and us and this, yet my eyes are ready to close right now, and I'd rather do that, because, maybe, hopefully, my dream girl, will make an appearance in my dreams.
