8:31pm

1:31pm

It's really cold, especially here under the vent. I yawn, then shiver, then resume gazing out the window I have my elbows perched on. The mama bird in the bare tree feeds her kins ever so gracefully... Yeah kidding, she's fucking throwing that shit up and giving it to her children... Yuck.
"MIREYA FOURD!"
I jolt my head up and make eye contact with Mr.Hepburn,"yes, sir?". All I could see to avoid his eyes were either his balding head or the bulging mole at the tip of his nose. He grabs the nearest meter stick and slams it on the whiteboard, I jump in my seat. "Mireya, can you please answer this question, you should know it, we've been discussing it for the past half hour". I got up from my seat and steadily made my way to the board.
Fuck. Why did I have to be seated all the way in the back? This feels like the longest walk ever with everyone looking! I reach the board and uncap the nearest marker, I stare in horror at the equation in front of me. I turn towards Mr.Hepburn, recap the marker, and hold it out to him. He stares at me with an unmoved expression and I slam the marker down on his desk without losing eye contact. The rest of the class throws huge "ooooohs" and "damns" and I run outside.
I am literally standing a feet away from the classroom door with my back pressed up on the chipping white, once brown, wall. I raise my hand to my chest and sigh, I have no idea why my pulse speeds up when I get that much attention, I can't seem to do anything right when people look at me. Mr.Hepburn comes quickly and gives me an irritated look. I look up to meet his gaze and begin,"I'm sorry mister. I didn't know how to do the equation on the board and the way I acted was very disrespectful. Please just-". He grabs my left arm and rolls up my sleeve to uncover my scars, fresh and old. I pull away quick, but not fast enough to hide them without him knowing. I look straight at him,"How'd you know?"

I'm in the health room now, and the Asian school nurse is dabbing a heavily coated cotton ball with alcohol against my cuts and it hurt so bad but yet so good. She finally tapes large gauzes on both my wrists and pulls down my sleeves to cover my truths. "Get home, kiddo. Rest up. You're going to have a hell of a day tomorrow."
~
My head hurts.
I lazily, and skillfully, make my way in the dark and flop down onto my huge ass bed. As I stare at my ceiling I feel an overpowering empty emotion and just continue to gaze into nothingness. I turn my head towards my nightstand and watch my clock tick away. It's only 8:28pm. I watch the clock tick away until it becomes 8:29pm, then 8:30pm but just as the clock turned 8:31pm, a noise vibrates from the window and I instinctively turned my head.
I smiled.
That was my calling.