the heart breaker

the nightmare

He was there, sitting on the bench. Holding her closer to him by the second, slowly pressing his lips against hers, with his eyes closed. His left hand on her waist and his right hand stroking her hair. She had both hands on the back of his neck, moving her pointer fingers gently massaging his neck. suddenly he starts kissing her ear, then he starts moving down to her neck gently pecking it with his soft lips. She turns her head around to be able enjoy the moment better and she slightly opens her eyes and I am there, I was watching everything. A tear rolls down my face. you can see the pain in my eyes. Suddenly he opens his eyes confused. Sees me, and just says in his deep voice "Whatever, I never even loved you, you were nothing but a hook up to me". I felt the pain increasing by the second. "wake up!" he said.

I opened my eyes, I was sweating all over. It was 3:17 am. That night was almost infinite. I realized what I hadn't before, I realized what my relationship with William was actually like. He viewed me as a challenge, as someone that he had to sleep with, he knew it would not be easy because I was a virgin, so he asked me out. He made me fall in love with him, he told me he loved me so that I thought he was worth loosing my virginity for, and after he took it, He just left to conquer his new challenge. I fell for all of it, I actually thought he loved me.

After what seemed an eternity of feeling like an idiot, I got up and started to get ready for school. My face was red from all the sweating and I smelled disgusting, I decided to take a shower, I knew if I stayed for too long I would start thinking about him again, but I had to wash my hair. I just tried to hurry up, but I didn't succeed. I started thinking about my heart breaker plan, I could not do it,  I never wanted to fall in love ever again. I didn't want to risk it. I wanted to go on with my life and never get hurt ever again. I knew that would not be possible but I was going to do everything in power to avoid another heart break. 

For breakfast I fixed myself a piece of toast with nutella, and got onto the bus. I made sure to not have any type of eye contact with Sebastian and sat as far away from him as possible.
"look who it is.. the big girl!" before I knew it he was seating next to me.  
"I am not in the mood please just go away"I answered being as harsh as I could
"hey I can tell you are in a bad place right now, but I cannot stop thinking about you. Can I at least know the name of such a gorgeous girl?" he said with a flirty confident voice.
"Adriana." I said keeping my answer as short as I could, looking through the window like I could not even notice his presence.
"well you know Adriana, big girls don't cry" he said making a joke.
"Big girl avoid crying in public, but sometimes the pain becomes so prominent that they cant fake a smile anymore" I said, I realized how vulnerable that made me sound. I regretted it immediately. Then I dared  take a glimpse at him, he wasn't disturbed, he didn't have a pity face. He was just looking at me like he knew exactly what it felt like.