Lost (Harry Styles AU)

1

I dash up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, even though I feel as though I can pass out at any moment. My heartbeat is fluttering madly and my breaths are rapid and desperate.

Quickly, I sit down on the step and attempt to catch my breath, while doing my best to ignore the immense hunger pangs jolting through my stomach. I lean forward with one hand pressed against my stomach and close my eyes shut, trying to ignore my surroundings.

I can hear faint laughter and chatter, as well as approaching footsteps, so I quickly stand up, and immediately feel like the ground is going to part beneath me. I gasp and quickly reach over for the handrail, grasping to it as though for dear life, while the footsteps and chatter get louder, so I grab my backpack and make my way upstairs as quickly as I possibly can, still feeling faint.

I make it to my room, instantly collapse on my chair, and for a moment I forget why I was even rushing to get to my room.

My diary.

~

It's been an hour of futile searching and every little action I make causes my muscles to ache and without warning, tears start rolling down my cheek. Stupid, stupid, stupid, just stupid.

I feel sick just thinking about someone getting their hands on my diary. Filled with my innermost thoughts and feelings, my deepest secrets, my worries and fears and flaws. That was the most precious thing to me and now someone has it and everyone will find out just how messed up I am, how broken I am, how useless I am - how lost I am.

Instinctively, I glance at another important notebook - the one sitting atop my weighting scale, hidden inconspicuously below a pile of clothes.

Suddenly, I hear multiple knocks on my door and I manage a weak, "Who is it?" while holding onto the table for support standing up. There's no response and I quickly wipe my face dry with some Kleenex while advancing to the door, opening it cautiously, only to find...no one.

I glance around but there's nobody in sight so I sigh in frustration, grabbing the door knob before I notice something from the corner of my eye. I instantly bend down to inspect it, and, it's my diary.