Can't U see ME ㅤㅤ/ VERIVERY /

4. confession

"Hey, can you come? I feel lonely."

Dongheon swears this is the worst message ever received from Minchan, deserving no attention at all, and he blames himself for still going to find him.

The evening of April Saturday found him walking in the streets near the Han river with no reason. It felt like a walk for his thoughts until he received this Minchan's message. And he decides to go.

He sees him at the end of the train platform, sat down on the small white rocks, leaving the upcoming train to give him a powerful wall of dust in his face. Dongheon comes closer and wants to catch his attention, but he stops when notices Minchan is playing with two weird dark rings with the same design.

"Minchan?"

"You really came?" He felt a bit confused, shaking his head. "I thought you will take it as a joke or would call me first."

Ah yes, he could call him first. Now Dongheon feels a bit dumb. Why he didn't call him before coming all until here?

"Once you're here, walk me home." Minchan stands up and looks at him. "Please."

All the way to Minchan's home was a full silence and loss of words, and Dongheon finds it a bit uncomfortable. He would start a conversation, even with the trivial "what you have done today?" but it seems Minchan doesn't want to talk. He seems a bit nervous. He talks only when they stop at a convenience store to grab some snacks and sit on a table for a few minutes.

"Ah these, " Minchan notices his eyes looking at the rings, still on his fingers. "Found today an account of a girl who makes cute things with resin. She called these "friendship rings". One is for you."

He takes one of them and gives it to Dongheon. Then he continues to eat his snacks like nothing happened. Dongheon has nothing but put the ring on.

Once at home, Minchan asks him if he would like to stay over, but Dongheon finds some weird words to refuse the invitation, saying something related to work. So Minchan has nothing to do but give him a hug and wish him a safe way home.

Dongheon doesn't want to go home now, to be honest. He wanted to spend this evening having a long walk. So he goes directly to the park.

But he remembers the ring received from Minchan. He sits on a bench and takes it in his hand. It seems simple, but it has some more colors that fit well with black. Well, Minchan has his own taste, thought Dongheon.

Then he notices something else. He has to turn on the light on his phone, because it's getting dark already and he can't see well. inside the ring, Dongheon sees the next words in English: "... but we better B just friends." This is definitely a ring made on command.

He is confused. Can it be that Minchan wants to give him a hided message? He decides to go back and find out.

When Minchan opens the door, he has his casual clothes on and a towel on his shoulders. He's just back from having a shower. "Something happened?"

He just steps inside. "It's weird but... can I see your ring?"

"No?"

Minchan's eyes got big and he rushed to his room. So Dongheon follows him. "Don't hide it please."

Minchan jumped on his bed, making his way to hide in the blanket. "I don't want you to see" admits he.

Dongheon takes it as fake words. If Minchan is behaving like a kid again, he has to take his ring by force. And he does.

Once the ring is successfully captured by him, Minchan hides his head with a pillow, bumping out a slow "I'm sorry." He feels ashamed.

Dongheon has to go in the kitchen for a better light. He studies it, looking for the words. And freezes once he finds them.

"I love you BUT ..."

He is in shock. He never thought Minchan can be like this. Or... was he blind all this time?

He comes back in the room to find Minchan in the same position: hided from head to toes with his pillow and blanket. Dongheon doesn't know how to start the conversation.

"Don't talk. I had enough for today." said Minchan.

Dongheon comes closer until he sits on the edge of the bed. Has two tries to take the pillow aside, but Minchan keeps it well. "But I want to talk."

Minchan just turns his back to him, avoiding him. "Hong Minchaaaaan~"

Now he really wants to talk about this. If this isn't a joke of course.

"What."

Something in his voice felt sad. Dongheon wants to see him, because talking about it this way isn't the best option.

"Tell me it's not a joke. Are these words for real?"

A few moments of silence, time for Minchan to rustle in his blanket, until he decides to take the pillow from his face and sit normally in front of Dongheon.

"Yes."

His eyes are swollen, his full face is red and hair still wet from the shower. Dongheon assumes he has left a few tears now.

"It's all Hoyoung" starts Minchan. "He talked to me until I opened to him and told him I have feelings for you. And he straight up wanted me to confess to you. But I'm afraid our friendship will be ruined after today. I know he's a nice friend to you, but I hate him for this."

"Explain."

"I wanted to tell you. Really. A lot of times. But I couldn't. So later I decided that I'll just keep these feelings for myself and continue to act like your friend. Because I'm really afraid to loose you." He hides his face in his palms, avoiding every attempt of Dongheon to eye contact.

"Hey, let's ignore it, okay?" suddenly asks Minchan with his voice trembling. "Let's act like today didn't happen at all and continue to live like we're used to. I can keep it for myself."

"But it did happen." Dongheon watches Minchan going smoothly in horizontal position to hide again in his blanket. Then he turns on his stomach, hiding his face too. "Minchan~" he moves his hand to shake his shoulder. "Wait, you're crying?"

"I'm sorry" answers Minchan sobbing.
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Dongheon takes the fried chicken and the cola and leaves the restaurant. Looks again in his phone, only to see Minchan in the same place: his home.

After that conversation Minchan refused to talk more, he refused to even look at Dongheon when he said he'll go home. He felt awful. Maybe both of them.

And the full week after this Minchan refrained himself from calling him at least once. And he didn't even leave the apartment in this whole time. Dongheon found himself guilty for this, for making Minchan avoid him. He wished he could do something to make him feel better. That's why now he bought chicken and cola.

Minchan opened the door with a sleepy look, barely being able to look at him. "I was sleeping. Do you need something?"

"You think I have no reasons to keep in touch with you after last time?"

"Maybe?" Minchan blinks a few more times, before he can see him clearly. But still doesn't give a sign for him to come in, so Dongheon has to say it:

"Look, I really never thought about this before, but this week I've been thinking about a lot. And you dumbass avoided me giving me more trouble. I'm afraid to loose you too, you know? I'm already so used to your presence that these days went hard for me. And you're still affected. Let's..."

"You're not supposed to -" wanted to say Minchan, but Dongheon cut him off:

"Let's give it a try, okay?"