I Belong to You (Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Erik's POV

The darkness of prison does not compare to the darkness I feel. I do not display emotions here, though. I am cold. And, though I loathe myself for acknowledging it, I am also lonely. I am incredibly lonely.

Without Christine, I am nothing. Although I knew I was happier than I'd ever been when she and I were together, I know I did not realize the full extent of my happiness. She brought about such a sense of peace... I miss her terribly, and I loathe myself for that, as well.

But I loathe myself most for kidnapping her. If only I had never asked for her hand in marriage... It was a foolish, impulsive act. When it happened, I should have handled her rejection properly. I should have left her alone. Instead, I committed the ultimate crime. I can never forgive myself for it.

All of this I explained during my questioning. Earlier today, I was placed in a room with a criminal investigator. There, I thoroughly explained everything that transpired between me and Christine leaving nothing out.

I now await trial, where I will be sentenced.

In the meantime, as I sit on the cot in my prison cell, I continue to ponder over the one thing that continues to confuse me- why Christine tried to help me at the police station. Why would she attempt to come between me and authorities? The only conclusion I can come to is that she was tired and somewhat delusional.

To even have an ounce of hope that she might have done it because she truly wanted to is out of the question. After everything, one thing is obvious and that is her hatred towards me.

Whatever it was that possessed her to try to help me, I can only hope she is feeling better now. I am sure she is. To go home was all she ever wanted...

Christine's POV

I am sick. I am really sick. Well, at least I think I am, or rather, hope I am. Here's why... I feel like I'm in love with the man who kidnapped me.

I had that awakening I was hoping for. But now I wish I hadn't. I can't be in love with him. After everything he did, after all the times I knew I hated him, and after he finally let me go, my 'awakening' should be the complete opposite. I should hate him with every fiber of my being.

He drugged me, he kidnapped me, he forced me to marry him, he kept me locked up for weeks, and he acted like a complete psychopath a lot of the time.

But, as my mind ponders over the bad, it also can't help but remember... It wasn't always like that. There were good times, especially later on. That week, that one week when I was blissfully happy and perfectly content. At the time I thought he had brainwashed me. I was scared to believe that I could be happy with him. However, I have come to believe that that was the real me. I really was happy simply being around him and enjoying our daily routine..

Erik. He's the most intense man I've ever known. He's a true genius with musical talents that are unreal. Musical talents... Truth be told, I loved our lessons. Every single one of them. And I miss them.

I miss him. I wish.. I just wish we could go back and change some things. I wish he hadn't kidnapped me. We wouldn't be in the mess we're in right now if only he could have restrained himself.

What am I going to do? I've said he didn't kidnap me, but he's probably told authorities otherwise. Most likely, Erik has been questioned and has told the truth. So.. How exactly do I get him out of this?

I really do love him, don't I? He's all I think about. I just want him happy. Too bad I didn't realize this when he asked me to marry him during that voice lesson, which feels like so long ago.

I feel like I've really changed. I'm not the innocent, sheltered high school girl I was before this. I feel like I've become an adult.

Nobody else is going to think so. Not Mom, not Dad, not Meg or Robert. Maybe not even Erik... What if he doesn't believe me when I tell him that I love him? He really doesn't have any reason to believe that what I feel is real. After all the times I've gotten mad at him, he probably thinks I hate him. And my trying to stop the cops from restraining him has most likely confused him terribly.

I wish there were a way to talk to him... If I could talk to him privately, then maybe I could make him believe me. Then maybe I could really save him.