Letting go :1:

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I try so hard , does anybody notice? I just want to do well. I am scared that if I don't try this hard I won't get where I want or need to be. No one seems to understand that not even my family or friends. I know I need to be careful and not over do it, but with this covid problem the school is putting more pressure on us to get work down and not giving us anymore chances. I know I shouldn't be scared of failing but you would think with riding horse for 7 year I would be used to failing but well it comes to school its different. Don't know how but it is. Having dyslexia is hard it make everything in everydaylife harder than it needs to be. Sometimes even thing like speaking or buying things at the shop , understanding instructions. I have always been used to working hard and pushing myself due to my dyslexia, I even do it on my own accord. I am really glad I have some pretty amazing teacher who are fab and quite helpful and usually make my day better when I see them. Friends have been funny I know I wont have the same friends forever but they do for know because life is hard with out friends. I have loss a few but its probably for the better I still think about them and worry about them. I can't wait to be able to have job I would love to help peopleir even just being kind to them to make their day better because I know it really does make a difference plus it cost nothing to be kind.
I know it will get easier but first it has to get harder just like horse riding. I feel like I have to say sorry about everything but you shouldn't feel sorry for being you. When my friends tell me there option on they often tell me I am tall kind,nice and crazy. I don't think I am crazy I am just a little different , it's always been hard to find people who accept me for who I really am. When people get a friend like me I don't think they something realise how good of a friend I really am and it annoys me when they don't treat me the same. Everything is so much more stressful than before my dad keeps telling me it will get better but it's not working. I just want to get it other and done with.

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