Mom (Kellic)

8.

~kellin pov~

The second movie we decided to watch, Edward Scissorhands, is almost over and I'm really tired. I yawn and snuggle further into Vic's side.

"We can go to bed if you want," he offers quietly.

"It's okay, we can finish the movie."

He nods.

"I won't be able to sleep anyways so it doesn't make a difference to me," he mutters.

The tv volume is on super low so I don't bother pausing it before I ask him something. If anything it's probably easier for him to open up if we have some background noise.

"What keeps you up?"

He sighs, chewing his lip a slightly. I really love his lips. I wonder if I'll ever be allowed to kiss him.

"I-I just start thinking."

"About?"

I know what he's gonna say but I feel like he needs to vent. I want him to say it.

"My mom."

"Tell me about her."

He glances at me and smiles. I can just see his facial expressions in the soft glow of the tv.

"She was a really good cook and a really good mom. Like, up until her very last days she did her best to make sure we were all happy and comfortable."

"She died from cancer, right?"

His eyes are glassy as he nods.

"Yeah, it was really rare and we caught it too late. She died six months after she was diagnosed," he says quietly.

"That must have been really hard."

He nods again, clearing his throat.

We're both quiet and his eyes focus on the movie again but I can tell he isn't really paying attention to it.

My eyes slip shut and I don't try to stop them.

"Come on Kells, lets go to bed," Vic whispers.

I drag myself up and into his room. I'm so tired that I don't even consider the fact I should probably sleep in clothes. I strip off my pants and shirt before crawling into bed and immediately falling asleep.

I'm in my room and I hear the front door open and shut. I sink back into my bed, whispering under my breath

"I'm not home, I'm not home, don't come in, I'm not here."

But she finds me. She always finds me.

A swirling darkness crashes my door down and fills my room faster than I can say "no". It chokes me.

The darkness hurts me and I want to scream but it's in my lungs-

My eyes shoot open and I immediately sit up, nausea hitting me like a brick. My hair is plastered to my neck with sweat and my chest is tight. I'm gonna be sick.

I basically fall out of bed and rush into the bathroom. I kneel in front of the toilet and throw up, unable to get rid of the feelings from my dream. I don't even realize that Vic is there until he's holding my hair and rubbing my back soothingly. I don't want him to see me like this but it's nice that he's here.

"I'm so sorry," I sob, gagging again.

"It's okay, Kellin."

I stay there for what feels like forever, being sick and crying, desperately trying to calm down. I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to take deep breaths. I'm okay. I'm safe at Vic's house, she isn't here. I'm okay, I'm okay.