Osiris
I looked at my beautiful baby boy and my heart melted. It's already been three months since I had him, and I still couldn't believe he came from me. I could see a lot of Jeremy's features in him too, which hurt me.
Jeremy's been distant ever since he moved into his new place. He says it's because he's working so much, but I feel like having a baby just got too real for him once Jaj was born.
"Siri, I'm going to the store. You want anything," Mariel asked. My parents weren't too happy about me being pregnant, so Mariel thought it best to get us an apartment that we both pay half on.
"Yea. I think Jaj needs some more wipes. And I'll take some more conditioner for my hair."
"Okay. Are you alright? Your smile is a lil droopy."
"He just looks so much like Jeremy sometimes."
"Stop worrying. I'm sure he really is just working a lot. Do you really think he's avoiding you because of Jaj?"
"Yea. Why hasn't he been over to see him more? Better yet, why did he stop suggesting that I move in with him? It's kinda weird considering this is both of our child."
"I know you hate hearing this, but you really should call and talk to him."
I shrugged my shoulders. Jeremy was very attentive before this, so if he stopped, that meant he didn't wanna hear from me.
But, I figured I had nothing to lose, so I called him while Mariel was gone. He didn't answer, which didn't surprise me. I considered calling again, but there was no point. If and when Jeremy wanted to talk, he would make the effort on his own.
Later that night, he texted me and said he was outside. Jaj was asleep, so I carefully got out of bed and tip toed my way outside. Jeremy came toward me with his arms wide open, and my breath caught in my throat seeing his smile again.
"Please forgive me, Ris. I know I've been a crappy father and boyfriend as of late. There's no excuses, I was just scared."
"Scared of what?"
"I don't like doing things that I don't know I'll be good at. I wasn't sure if I would be good at parenting. And I know I shouldn't have left you to figure it out by yourself, but I-- I don't know I just wasn't up for it. And I know that's messed up, but I'm hoping you'll forgive me and let me try now."
I let out a deep breath and tried to wrap my head around my feelings. Really, I should've felt happy because I was getting what I wanted, right? But in reality, I was pissed off at him. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it just felt like he wasn't being completely honest with me.
"Jeremy, you abandoned me and your son. Saying you're sorry isn't going to cut it. I didn't even think we were dating anymore."
"Wha-- So, have you been seeing other guys?"
"No. I've been taking care of our son. I can't believe that your only concern is another man being in the picture," I scoffed.
Jeremy looked at me apologetically and took a deep breath. "Ris, I'm sorry. Please give me another chance to do this right. I swear on my life that I'm going to be so much better."
I looked in his eyes, and he seemed genuine. I did miss him, and his son needed him.
"Okay. I need you to take this seriously though, Jere."
"I will. Can I see baby boy, or is it quiet time right now?"
"Yea, Mari's asleep right now. Plus, Jaj hates being woken up."
"Okay. Well look, I want you guys to move in with me. I get off at 5, so I'll be over here by 6. Does that work for you?"
"Sure. I didn't bring much. And I'm sure Mariel will be happy to have the place to herself. But wait-- I was paying half on the rent. Give me time to talk to her and see how we're going to work that out. I can't just leave that whole thing on her because it's not cheap."
"Okay. Can I get you guys this weekend, then?"
"Sure."
"Okay. I love you, queen."
"I love you, too."
He pulled me in for a kiss, and I didn't want him to leave. When he pulled away, I asked him to stay the night.
"I don't have any work clothes over here, so I would have to leave really early just to go home and get ready."
"I know."
He shivered as if I'd given him chills, then gave me another kiss on the lips. "Fine. Let's go, then."
We walked into the apartment and toward my room. Jeremy went straight to Jaj and it's like he was in a whole other world.
"I know you may never even remember this, but I'm sorry for not being here all this time, son. And I'm making a promise to you on this day that it won't happen again," he whispered.
It warmed my heart to see it, but I also felt a little intrusive. I decided to grab some snacks from the kitchen so they could have a moment alone. When I came back, I could see that Jeremy's face was red, but I couldn't tell from what.
"You okay, Jere Bear?"
"Yea. I'm just feeling really bad for leaving you guys like this. Thank you for being able to accept me again."
"You're welcome. Get some sleep. I'll throw your uniform in the washer so you don't have to leave as early tomorrow."
"Thanks, queen."
