Different Kind of Beautiful

Chapter 7

This was hard. 

Why was it so hard?

How did people do this on a regular basis?

I clutched tightly onto the strap of my bag, eyes staring straight ahead. I tried to relax and not seem so stiff but it felt impossible. It was surprising that I was even moving. There was no way that they hadn't noticed. 

"Anzu-chan? Are you sure you're okay?" 

I glanced over at Iwaizumi and Oikawa who had shown up at my doorstep to walk to school. The former was clueless about that being my house, which made sense after last night. I just hadn't expected to see Oikawa so soon. Not to mention that I had never really walked to school with anyone before. Was I supposed to contribute to the conversation? What were we supposed to talk about?

I knew that they wouldn't hang around me for very long but I didn't want them to hate me for not responding or anything. 

"Oh, uh, yeah."

His eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you. You're clearly uncomfortable."

A bit miffed that he was aware of how tense I was, I couldn't help but snap back, "You're the one who showed up suddenly. I've never walked to school with someone, deal with it."

Instantly I shut my mouth tight, wondering why I had answered so openly. There wasn't much of a point to lying so I figured that they would have figured out eventually. 

"Damnit, I knew I should have dragged him away," the spiker mumbled under his breath. 

"You don't have to blame yourself," I piped up, shaking my hands out. "It's good experience I guess."

Oikawa hummed a bit, his eyes continuously flickering to me. "So how often do you read?"

I faced front again, feeling myself relax slowly. "Pretty much whenever I'm not asleep or in class."

Both boys seemed shocked. "Really?"

"Not recently though, since most of our books got destroyed in the fire."

Suddenly I felt hands clamp onto my shoulders and spin me around. Oikawa leaned down so he was level with me, his eyes staring straight into mine. I instantly tensed, unsure of what was happening. 

"Fire? What fire? Is your family okay?"

That was unexpected. 

"Uh, yeah... I was the only one home but I got out fine. It was all over the news and the school talked about it for a while," I answered. "There was an electrical issue that started a fire upstairs. Since my family buys and sells books, as well as collected them, we had a lot. It burned pretty quickly."

My throat felt a bit dry as I shook the memories away. It didn't bother me too much, I couldn't undo anything, but there were a lot of memories and things lost. I was scared, but I ended up fine. It wasn't caused by anything I had done nor was there something I could have done to prevent it. 

"I... I'm sorry, that sucks." 

"Yeah... If you need-"

I shook my head and gave them a small smile. "Like I said we're all fine. Books are replaceable. We're well enough off, so we don't need any pity."

The two boys shared a look, and we kept walking. 

"Is anyone allowed to watch practices?" I asked, hoping to drag the topic to something the two cared about. 

Iwaizumi laughed. "No. Assikawa's fan club is too distracting. Normally it's not something people watch so there was never a rule until he showed up."

"Iwa-chan!"

I laughed a bit, amused at the concept of girls cheering for Oikawa and growing upset whenever the focus wasn't on him or something exciting. Sports could get boring if you weren't participating in some way. I felt a bit of phantom pain on the side of my head as I recalled how often Oikawa was on the receiving end of one of those hits.

Oikawa got a bright look on his face. "Where you asking cause you wanted to watch us practice?!"

"Don't even think about it, if we let her watch, then we'd have to let other students do so," his friend warned, already knowing where the conversation was about to go. 

"Oh no," I quickly said. "I just know you guys are passionate about volleyball and figured it would be a good thing to talk about. I don't know too much about sports but they have always intrigued me."

I was doing it, I was causally walking and talking with people. 

I still felt ready to flee at a moment's notice, but I felt better about speaking up. 

Progress. 

It wasn't long before the school gates were in view. There weren't too many people around as it was still early before classes. I was thankful for that. 

Suddenly Oikawa let out a long groan, tossing his head back. "I can't believe I'm not in class with any of my close friends. Not Iwa-chan, not Tanji-san, and not even Anzu-chan!"

I couldn't stop myself from freezing up as I processed what he had just said. "What?"

His eyes turned back to me, a but confused. "What's wrong, Anzu-chan?"

I stared back at him, bewildered. "You- You consider me a close friend?"

He blinked, almost as if he hadn't just said it aloud. "Yeah?"

"But we've barely known each other for a day! Plus there was everything that happened when we ran into each other for the first time-"

"I suppose, but you're different I guess," he said, voice lacking in any playfulness. So he was serious after all. He suddenly got a weird look on his face. "You're really nice and interesting, but you can also be pretty nasty."

"What the hell?" Iwaizumi exclaimed, slapping him upside the head. "You were blackmailing her!"

"Wha- It's true though!" he protested, holding the back of his head. "She flips like s switch without any warning! It's terrifying!"

"You can't just say stuff like that so flippantly!"

I couldn't help it when I started laughing, the two stopping in their bickering to look at me before joining. Things were going better than expected. I was starting to get my hopes up a bit. I had said that I needed to make more friends, and there was a chance that I actually could. 

They were fun but it wasn't going to last, and I knew it was going to hurt. I stopped, looking up at the two, seeing them slip back into regular conversation. They were a duo, and as nice as it was getting, I just didn't see where I fit in. 

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but they had already stared rising. 

I would gladly break every pair of glasses I owned if it meant that I could avoid feeling the pain I knew was coming.