Remember Me

Chapter One

Authors note: This content may be triggering to those who have experienced any sort of physical, sexual, mental or emotional trauma

Memories are the one thing in life that never change, and looking back at mine I wish they would. I wish I would be able to wake up in the morning and see that the girl standing in front of me was not broken. I wish I wouldn't have had to cut my hair, change my clothes, and erase some of the most important things out of my life.

There was a time that when I looked at that girl she was full of love and happiness. She never once backed down from a fight and always held her head high. She was invincible, or so she thought. Little did she know that over time that girl would become broken.

The girl standing in front of the mirror now, has run as far and as fast away from her dreaded memories as she could. She now hangs her head low and cries herself to sleep, only to be reawakened by treacherous nightmares of her drunken father and buried mother.

Light still shows in some parts though. Mostly the parts that consisted of him. He was everything she ever wanted, and he understood her sadness because he had a load of his own. He was also running from his memories, but one day they caught up to him and ripped his hand away from hers.

I have tried and tried to become someone I'm not, and even though I put up a great mask, I'm always able to see right through it. However, other people do not, mostly because they have no idea what I've been through and they never would be able to understand unless I thoroughly told them. Which is not happening.

I've made up a life for me here at NYU. I've gotten myself a pretty cool roommate, as well as a friendly boy to talk to on my lonely nights. I luckily still have my Granny, God only knows what I'd do if I didn't have her. She's been my rock throughout my entire life. Making sure to always make me happy when I'm sad, and overjoyed when I'm tired of everything. She always told me that if I didn't write down my life I'd forget how much I've been through and how much I've accomplished.

I write most of my days away when I don't have classes, either that or I read. My roommate Ronnie always makes fun of me for spending my free time in the library. She says it's unhealthy for a person to be isolated from the outside world so much. I disagree with her obviously, because I'm not isolated, I have a car and I go for bike rides and see new things everyday.

My favorite place to go is to the little coffee shop down the street. Their coffee isn't that great, but it has a nice environment. I usually sit right by the window while I read or write, whichever comes first. Sometimes though, I just watch the cars pass by while I fiddle with my thumbs and listen to my music.

Currently, I'm sitting on my bed and staring at my ceiling. Ronnie is most likely out because it's a Saturday. So, like usual I'm all alone, left to think about my entire life. I mean who wouldn't want to constantly think about their terrible child hood, not me.

Ronnie breaks me from my thoughts as soon as she walks in through the door. Her high heels from last night are on the fingertips of her perfectly manicured hand, completely obvious she had a rough night.

"Hey there Eleanor, I thought you'd maybe be at the library or maybe that terrible coffee shop down the street." She laughed as she said this. It was evident she had a hangover in the way her eyes squinted when she noticed my drapes fully open to reveal the afternoon sun.

"Hey, It looks like you had a rough night. Do you need some Advil?" I asked knowing that she couldn't deny the pain relief.

"Yes please, and that's the least of what last night was like. I say it was pure hell. The party didn't even have good music, I'm so mad I went. After a while Tony and I went back to his apartment and got hammered. Which was way better if I do say so myself." She explained. "Oh yeah and that one guy you've been talking to was there. He left a little earlier than I did but he didn't look too good. What was his name again?" This now made my ears perk up. Chase wouldn't normally be at a Friday night party especially because he told me he couldn't hangout cause his dad was home to visit him.