immoral encounter

Looking onwards to what didn’t seem like a major dilemma, and now towards the sparse cornfield sent an abnormal shudder down my spine. Content in the shelter of youthful dreams my whole world had shattered.it was finally summer vacation and I had already signed up for summer camp, least to say I was flipping ecstatic! my Midwestern hometown in Kansas, with its cold presence on that day looked as if my mourning was altered by vast, dark earth that lay ahead of me. On December 22nd 1981 I had decided to take a shortcut towards my home, through the cornfield behind the school.my desired pathway was one many became shaken by. Mother would always whine that “17 year old teenagers should not be walking alone after dark especially across such a lonesome cornfield”.

Moving along the earths sludge, I slowly immersed myself away from the respected pathway, welcoming the odourus mud into the soles of my new yellow keds. I remember how the broken corn stalks made my walk more difficult. The large bared branches of the trees that draped the windowless trees reminded me of the cold distant feeling I now feel. Ethereal shapes formed and shifted in rhythm with the whistles of the harsh wind. No window in the farmhouses nearby where lit “probably dinner time” I huffed to myself. Using cornfield as a shortcut gave me the “skeevies” as mother use to say.

“ oh crap, good one Serena” bending down clenching my leather school bag towards my stomach I bent down to pick up my fallen beanie. only to be met with  stench of decay that shot straight up my nose like an robust shot of tequila. Pacing my walk, Mr Fisher stood 6 feet away in a long maroon patched coat. If only I could of escaped this forest slum.

“Hey you’re the Simmons girl right”?

Eyes wide, I felt my throat drop as low as my backside

“You live in the big green house?

“Ummm, thankyou Mr Fisher, I’d like to stay and chat but I really have to get home my parents are expecting me, about…..now” I attempted to excuse myself looking down at my non-existent wrist watch.

Relieved I began to scurry away like a child from being put into the bathtub.“ its fine, it’s just that I’ve been working so hard on this play house for you kids to enjoy , seeing as Kansas is an “old home” these days, I thought I’d  build it, I just wanted a second opinion”

Knowing my overly polite manners and overbearing curiosity (thanks mum) I turned around.

“Where is it?” I asked. Mr Fisher looked at me beady eyed through his old fashioned circular glasses “you’re going to have to be more attentive Serena” jumping on the earth I suddenly heard a hollow spot, noticing the mere light shining through.

“Under here, Serena isn’t this rad?” he asked. A room under the earth was soon revealed and was filled entirely with coca cola glass bottles, board games and hundreds of ceramic collectables.

Motioning me to have a seat on a fluffed pillow, the dust particles fill the air as sorrow and regret fill my lungs when I notice that the entrance door closes.

“It’s quite warm in here, Serena are you warm? Take off your coat” Mr Fisher motioned as he took off his jacket and sat in front of me, uncomfortable I held my breath. “Look at those eyes” “beautiful”

Memories of those beady eyes should have been a warning yet still I stayed.

****

I began to scream and thrash my long legs around as he grabbed me by my yellow bell bottoms and dragged me into his underground lair, disconnecting any communication with the outside world, all but his desire filled eyes that gnawed at my insides. Now, it was either give in or give up. I kicked him so hard in the face, sending a strike right to his left glass. Now I missed the sound of my gushy keds in the mud as they sunk into the earth just minutes ago.

Bare footed and tattered clothed I buckled and whined as I frantically scurried away as he wetly kisses down my salty face and onto my quivering lips. Leading his hands down my body, he roams parts that I have yet to discover myself, shoving his hands under my shirt, I began to leave my body. I wept and moaned. I began to inhabit my destiny and the dirty smell of his musk filled my air as my back rubbed against the damp earth, as  he consumed my fragile body. All I felt was my urgent fantasy of escaping the cornfield’s grasp.

Grasping my shirt I began to sing so I would not feel. “What a wonderful world” he ripped open my pants and helped himself.

“I see trees of green”, I was the mortar and he was the pestle.

“I see red roses too”. In attempt to escape, I could almost hear mother as she sets the dinner table, “Serena Serena! It’s time for dinner! I made string beans and chicken

“And I think to myself”.” Your little sister has a new set of trainers and I made peach cobbler”

“I see them bloom, for me and for you”

Mr fisher forced me to lie underneath him as our bodies touched, I listened to the beat of his heart and compared it to my own, how mine skipped like a rabbit and how his thudded so dull , like a hammer against cloth.

He had completed such a crime against me, and I was alive. We were still in isolation under the earth, he and I, the dark underground room, lit by only a faint candle. It smelt exactly like what it was, dirt. I yelled for hours.

As I trembled, smelling his breath he leaned in to welcome the end like a lover on a late morning. “Why don’t I help you up” I could not get up. Mr Fisher’s voice was encouraging and gentle, a mere suggestion into the void, however I realized now that I was an animal already dying. Leaning over me, I held my breath as he moved aside his circle framed glasses, bringing back an unsheathed knife, shinning in the candle light. In his firm grasp, it smiled at me like the sun did as it woke me up just yesterday. Curving up in a grin he took my beanie from my mouth.

“Say it” he commanded

“What a wonderful world” I whispered for my life

Soon I found myself approaching a tall iron gate, a sea of white and red flowers formatted a path guiding me to a grey tomb. I let my fingers graze the face of the tomb as the vile of that evening filled my dry mouth. I finally screamed, allowing all my emotions to be released with one long breathe, freedom from the underground lair. I had discovered that the end came, that my life was taken by a soulless human being.

I am Serena Simmons. I was 17 when I was raped and murdered in an underground den.