A New Perspective *DISCONTINUED*

Chapter 10

Previously...

Gwen,

I can't express how thankful I am to you for taking me in and providing me with a place to stay temporarily. Now, you have said you want to foster me. I'm so happy but... then again, I'm scared. If you foster me, doesn't that mean that there's a chance I can get ripped right out of your custody at any moment? The uncertainty is scaring me and I don't even know what my mother would say to this. I know how this whole process would have to work and frankly, I don't know if I'm up to this.

How do I tell you that? Would it break your heart or would you be able to understand? I can't do this to you, not after all you've done for me.

I wish things were different. I wish I could live with you forever. I wish I could share this special connection with you forever. I wish I could even call you... mom. You're more of a mother to me than my own would ever be.

I'm sad and frustrated that things couldn't work out differently, but for the time being, I'll try to stay put, because I'm really scared right now. I want to run, but I'll stay because it makes you happy and honestly, I need you...

- Vivian

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Vivian's Perspective

I'll be frank... I'm used to being on my own, being ignored and just providing for myself. It's been a strange transition getting used to having Gwen with me most of the time. I'm not saying I want her to ignore me, I don't, I'm starting to really like her love and affection. The only thing is that I'm battling against my mind and my past here. It seems like all this doesn't fit, like something's wrong here. Now, there's four boys at Gwen's place for the weekend. They seem nice enough really, it's just all a bit overwhelming. This morning leading into early afternoon, we had all spent it together having breakfast cooked by Gwen and Blake, playing games, just talking and getting to know me.

See, that's another thing. A lot of this weekend is starting to focus on me. I don't like the focus to constantly be on me. It gives me major anxiety and plus, I just don't like talking about myself so much. My mother always told me it was rude to talk about myself even though she did it most of the time, but still, I tried my best not to disappoint or disobey her. Worse things would come out of that.

A knock sounds at my door, causing me to flinch. I assume it's Gwen and when she asks if she can come in, I see I'm correct. I call her in, sitting up on the bed. I cross my legs on top of the covers, watching as she stops a few steps before me.

She's in some pretty casual wear having not gone anywhere today. Tomorrow, we're going to do a lot more and I'm not sure how excited I am for that.

"Hey, Vi. Will you come on a walk with us?" She asks with a smile, continuing, "it's on the trails behind here so no need to worry about paparazzi."

I contemplate it for a quick second, almost about to give in because I know they'd want me to, but then a thought stops me. Maybe I shouldn't say just a thought - many thoughts stop me. Thinking about everything is overwhelming. Can I really trust these people? That's a popular question I seem to be asking myself every day. They haven't given me any reasons not to yet, but... I'm not even sure I want this. It's so foreign to be part of a group of people like them in this way.

I've always been better off on my own.

"Uh... I don't know. Maybe I'll stay back." I tell her, fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

"Are you sure?" She confirms.

I simply nod. I watch as she stands and contemplates my answer for a moment. Then she looks up at me again, cocking her head to the side in question,