Hellinía

Chaper 2

   Today Mathew had questioned my position next to father, he said a woman should not have the power i have. That all women rely and act on their emotions. That I lack the knowledge, I was horribly offended. I told father, he merely scolded Mathew and sent me on a sort of break. I was angry, how could a brat talk to me that way. For the rest of that night I trained with my mentor, he showed me now to snap a mans neck with my feet.

   I am exhausted, Im unable to bathe and get clean so what I do is strip and sleep. That morning I woke up to a loud bang on my door, I sat up quickly half awake and exposed.

   "Commander we--" in the door way was one of my best men, Lieutenant Dochknaut "Oh my word! My most honest apologies ma'am!!"

   "Enough, the act is done just knock next time okay?" I covered my body with my bed sheets "Anyway who needs me and for what."

   "Yes ma'am well General Hurgoch of the Lumber district has requested a meeting with you and our council. Something about a shortage of soldiers protecting their forests."

   "Okay I will be there, tell the General that I will fix his problem."

   "Yes ma'am. And may I speak freely?"

   "Yes lieutenant, but please hurry."

   "You have a beautiful body, I am surprised you are not married." And with that he left, his words struck me deep. I began to remember that day… that horrible day. I lost my family, my lover and my unborn child. But now was no time to cry or feel for that matter. I needed to focus on this, my emotions will not cloud my judgement.

   I went to meet the General and my council, it turns out the elves have been killing my soldiers. They have taken a whole platoon and have not heard from them since. Some of those men have family, some of them were sons…. my heart sinks deeper with every passing second. I hold back tears and disscuss the plan they had, to send more soldiers and a platoon of my right hand men. They were essentially my sons, with wives and beautiful daughters who call me Grandmama. Although scary on the outside, they were hard working men, with a relatively healthy lifestyle. This was going to be tough, I cannot send them to their deaths. I sat in silence for a moment before a council woman tapped me,

   "Commander Lionhart… is everything okay?"

   "Yes yes, Im sorry. I was just thinking about the terms and my men. They have families and lives as well. Now that's not to say that your fine workers do not but simply sending more men will not fix the problem."

   "Are you telling me you cannot send them because they have families? What is a few people to our great country? Princess, we must think of our country as a whole first, then as individual lives."

   "Im sorry but I said no and that is my final thought on this matter. They have families like you and … and these council men and women. I will not tear families apart!"

   "So you are willing to starve our country of lumber?!"

   "No! But I will NOT send men into battle knowing each and everyone of them will die. They have family, sons, daughters, and wives! Tell me General, do you have family? Do you have a lover and a child? Yes? Well I do not, I do not have that luxary of looking at my lover and thanking these pitiful gods of yours for them. My family was stolen from me. My lover burned down to a stain on the floor, and the child I was carrying… stolen. My child was stolen from my womb, removed from me as if my baby was a leech. Do you know that feeling? I dont even know if I had a son or daughter. And I do not want to give these families that feeling of loss and uncertainty. I refuse!"

  I left that room and went to my chambers, in a fit of rage and hysteria. All of my bottled up pain began to release itself, I turned my room into hell hole. And on the floor, under a fur… was the silhouette. Scorched into the floor as it is in my brain, i fell to my knees, whispering pathetic apologies to the silhouette. That night I cried myself into a deep slumber, where my nightmares were the only refuge from this ever lasting hell.