to Myself

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Hey,

I've missed you. A lot.
At times i miss the old you. The "you" i used to adore and love spending this life with.
The "you" who knew how to smile and laugh so hard and loud, without caring if anyone was listening or starring to.
The "you" who knew how to be OKAY every single moment of each day, without wondering why the hell it shouldn't be.
You were young then, i remember.
And i miss that..

But now you're grown.
You're grown as this life itself is.
And you flow.
So, mostly, i think i miss the "flowing you".
This unknown part in here.
The part i had never the chance to meet in person.
This extraordinary hidden garden deep in the paper soul i keep, full of bright sun light and fresh air and beautiful colourful flowers looking up to the pure vast blue sky and mostly, full of peace. Peace in heart and mind..

But i am tired.
I am tired of missing and missing, again and again, and crying all over the night for some desire i could simply fight for and i do not.
I am tired of this FEAR.
I am tired of this PAIN.
And i am tired of being this TIRED anymore.
I have to fight life back.
I have to leave all these tears fall behind and i sure know you will stand with me.
You and I. Please.
We have to.
We have to explore this huge garden of paradise we own and that is for us, myself.
And us only. Sometimes.

So, if it is OKAY, goodbye.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 28, 2020 ⏰

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