Your kid is trans. Yup. And they need to tell you what it means without actually getting an app that makes a slideshow.
Let me explain what trans is.
Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their sex assigned at birth.[1][2][3] Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual.[4][5] Transgender, often shortened as trans, is also an umbrella term. In addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may include people who are not exclusively masculine or feminine (people who are non-binary or genderqueer, including bigender, pangender, genderfluid, or agender).[2][6][7] Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender.[8][9] The term transgender may be defined very broadly to include cross-dressers.[10]
A transgender woman
Being transgender is independent of sexual orientation.[11] Transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or may decline to label their sexual orientation. The term transgender is also distinguished from intersex, a term that describes people born with physical sex characteristics "that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies".[12] The opposite of transgender is cisgender, which describes persons whose gender identity or expression matches their assigned sex.[13]
The degree to which individuals feel genuine, authentic, and comfortable within their external appearance and accept their genuine identity has been called transgender congruence.[14] Many transgender people experience gender dysphoria, and some seek medical treatments such as hormone replacement therapy, sex reassignment surgery, or psychotherapy.[15] Not all transgender people desire these treatments, and some cannot undergo them for financial or medical reasons.[15][16]
Many transgender people face discrimination in the workplace[17] and in accessing public accommodations[18] and healthcare.[19] In many places, they are not legally protected from discrimination.[20] Psychiatrist John F. Oliven of Columbia University coined the term transgender in his 1965 reference work Sexual Hygiene and Pathology,[21] writing that the term which had previously been used, transsexualism, "is misleading; actually, 'transgenderism' is meant, because sexuality is not a major factor in primary transvestism."[22][23] The term transgender was then popularized with varying definitions by various transgender, transsexual, and transvestite people, including Virginia Prince,[4] who used it in the December 1969 issue of Transvestia, a national magazine for cross dressers she founded.[24] By the mid-1970s both trans-gender and trans people were in use as umbrella terms,[note 1] and transgenderist was used to refer to people who wanted to live cross-gender without sex reassignment surgery (SRS).[25] By 1976, transgenderist was abbreviated as TG in educational materials.[26]
By 1984, the concept of a "transgender community" had developed, in which transgender was used as an umbrella term.[27] In 1985, Richard Elkins established the "Trans-Gender Archive" at the University of Ulster.[24] By 1992, the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment Policy defined transgender as an expansive umbrella term including "transsexuals, transgenderists, cross dressers", and anyone transitioning.[28] Leslie Feinberg's pamphlet, "Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time has Come", circulated in 1992, identified transgender as a term to unify all forms of gender nonconformity; in this way transgender has become synonymous with queer.[29]
Between the mid-1990s and the early 2000s, the primary terms used under the transgender umbrella were "female to male" (FtM) for men who transitioned from female to male, and "male to female" (MtF) for women who transitioned from male to female. These terms have now been superseded by "trans man" and "trans woman", respectively, and the terms "trans-masculine" or "trans-feminine" are increasingly in use.[30] This shift in preference from terms highlighting biological sex ("transsexual", "FtM") to terms highlighting gender identity and expression ("transgender", "trans woman") reflects a broader shift in the understanding of transgender people's sense of self and the increasing recognition of those who decline medical reassignment as part of the transgender community.[30]
Health-practitioner manuals, professional journalistic style guides, and LGBT advocacy groups advise the adoption by others of the name and pronouns identified by the person in question, including present references to the transgender person's past.[31][32] Many also note that transgender should be used as an adjective, not a noun (for example, "Max is transgender" or "Max is a transgender man", not "Max is a transgender"), and that transgender should be used, not transgendered.[33][34][35]
In contrast, people whose sense of personal identity corresponds to the sex and gender assigned to them at birth – that is, those who are neither transgender nor non-binary or genderqueer – are called cisgender.[36]
Transsexual and its relationship to transgender
See also: Transsexual, especially Transsexual § Terminology
The term transsexual was introduced to English in 1949 by David Oliver Cauldwell[note 2] and popularized by Harry Benjamin in 1966, around the same time transgender was coined and began to be popularized.[4] Since the 1990s, transsexual has generally been used to refer to the subset of transgender people[4][37][38] who desire to transition permanently to the gender with which they identify and who seek medical assistance (for example, sex reassignment surgery) with this.
Distinctions between the terms transgender and transsexual are commonly based on distinctions between gender (psychological, social) and sex (physical).[39][40] Hence transsexuality may be said to deal more with physical aspects of one's sex, while transgender considerations deal more with one's psychological gender disposition or predisposition, as well as the related social expectations that may accompany a given gender role.[41] Many transgender people reject the term transsexual.[5][42][43] Christine Jorgensen publicly rejected transsexual in 1979 and instead identified herself in newsprint as trans-gender, saying, "gender doesn't have to do with bed partners, it has to do with identity."[44][45] This refers to the concern that transsexual implies something to do with sexuality, when it is actually about gender identity.[46][note 3] Some transsexual people object to being included in the transgender umbrella.[47][48][49][50]
In his 2007 book Transgender, an Ethnography of a Category, anthropologist David Valentine asserts that transgender was coined and used by activists to include many people who do not necessarily identify with the term and states that people who do not identify with the term transgender should not be included in the transgender spectrum.[47] Leslie Feinberg likewise asserts that transgender is not a self-identifier (for some people) but a category imposed by observers to understand other people.[48] The Transgender Health Program (THP) at Fenway Health in Boston notes that there are no universally-accepted definitions, and terminology confusion is common because terms that were popular at the turn of the 21st century may now be deemed offensive. The THP recommends that clinicians ask clients what terminology they prefer, and avoid the term transsexual unless they are sure that a client is comfortable with it.[46]
Harry Benjamin invented a classification system for transsexuals and transvestites, called the Sex Orientation Scale (SOS), in which he assigned transsexuals and transvestites to one of six categories based on their reasons for cross-dressing and the relative urgency of their need (if any) for sex reassignment surgery.[51] Contemporary views on gender identity and classification differ markedly from Harry Benjamin's original opinions.[52] Sexual orientation is no longer regarded a criterion for diagnosis, or for distinction between transsexuality, transvestism and other forms of gender variant behavior and expression. Benjamin's scale was designed for use with trans women, and trans men's identities do not align with its categories.[53]
Hopefully this gives you insight to why your child feels that way.
It's not something you can fix, it's their choice. You said you'll love them no matter what gender they are.
This is their gender.
