The Only Thing That Matters

Not What You Were Expecting

Nicholas Cage thought da queen was bae af so he flew all da way to England so he cood superman dat hoe. She seen him outside da castle n dropped her pantiez rite quick. She wanted sum of dat Cage weenie, but c'mon who doesn't amirite wonk wonk. Then two hawt doods named Dan n Phil walk by with they're willies all out and decided to get sum of dat Cage booty bc Nicky got a$$ 4 daaaaaaaays u feel? So they put there dingies in da booty and Lizzy was like "awwww yeah get some" n kept watchin from da window like a creeper but its okie bc she's da fuckin queen of England yo. Then dr Phil walked up to Lizzy n sed "wanna bone" n she was like "kay" n they started gettin jiggy with it n Nic seen them n a tear rolled down his face bc he wanted that royal a$$ two himself so after he got down n dirty with Danny Boy n Philskies he ran into da palace with his pants around his ankles n found the queen. He went behind dr Phil n whispered "put the bunny back in the box" n dr Phil was like "oshitkaybai" n ran away then Nic put his weewee in dingleberries deep and screamed "I'm gunna steal the Declaration of Independence" and impregnated Lizzy. When she had the Babi it had a mustache then Maury walked into da room and told Nic dat he wasn't da father n Lizzy cried n Nic was so mad he sucked on Dr Phil's dillydong until he was happy again.