The Closer I Get is the Further I Feel (Chris x Balz)

Ignorance Is Your New Best Friend

Edited on December 19, 2019

Chris' POV

I wake up with a small stretch in the little bunk, sighing softly. It's a new day. I remind myself as I roll out of my bunk and land on the ground. I stretch more as I walk into the living/lounge area in time to see Josh walk in with food, "Oh sweet I'm starving." I comment as he sets the bag down.

"Oh I'm sorry, did you want something?" He asks and I quirk an eyebrow at him. Did he not get something for everybody? I'm quiet for a moment as I watch as everyone else walks up and gets something that was theirs. Everyone but me. All that was left was Josh's.

"I- well yeah. I mean I thought you would have gotten something for all of us." I comment and he shrugs.

"Oh, man, did I forget you? Damn." He says, but his tone holds no apology as a smirk tugs at his lips. He did it on purpose after all, I had quickly put that together. I look towards the man who I had once begun getting feelings for, traces of hurt in my eyes, but I very quickly put my wall back up.

"Fuck you." I whisper, watching as the look on his faces softens ever so slightly, but I don't stick around long enough to hear his half-assed apology.

I let out a frustrated groan as I storm off the bus and into the wooded area next to us. A growl escapes me as I punch a random tree hard. That boy is doing EVERYTHING he can to make me either pissed, hurt, or both. He knows it's working too which is why he gets a smug ass smirk when it happens.

I sigh and put my back to the tree, sliding down it, hanging my head between my knees, frustrated tears in my eyes as I think about everything that led up to this point. From Josh correcting me every chance he can get, to 'forgetting' to book enough rooms whenever we decide to get a hotel so that I have to share a room with someone. Oh and then- my thoughts are cut short by Josh softly speaking, "U-Uh... C-Chris?" 

"What.?" I ask sharply, my head snapping up to shoot him a glare causing him to flinch slightly.

"I-I'm sorry... Is your hand okay...?" He asks quietly, looking at me concerned. I simply scoff and roll  my eyes. Does he really think this will work on me? I know it's an act. I know he doesn't fucking care about me. He's made that brutally clear.

"As if you really care. Just leave me alone, Josh." I snap, standing up and walking off only to have him grab my wrist and pull me back to look him in the eyes.

"Chris... I do care... Chris I-" He says, desperation in his eyes for me to listen, but I cut him off.

"Save it Josh." I shake my head, pulling my arm from his grasp and walking back to the tour bus, sighing a bit as I sit on the couch in the "living room". 

After a moment Josh walks in and into the bathroom and I sigh once more, dropping my head against the back of the couch. I hate that we fight. We used to be so close. I miss that. 

If only you knew how much you've hurt me... If only you knew how much I love you... But I refuse to let him see me vulnerable. He will use that against me, twist it to hurt me worse. I wont let him
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Hey guys! This is my first story here on WattPad. Not my first story ever, but yeah. Constructive criticism is nice. Please let me know if you'd like me to continue because I have some more written in my notebook :)

Also, you guys should totes recommend me to others if you like it so far

Title: Ignorance by Paramore

PS, word count is 666