Breaking Out

My heart beat steadily but with anxiety in every pulsation. My make-up was fresh and my hair clean and straight. My fingers grazed the necklace I put on, my collar bone creating a bump in the sterling silver chain. I took one last look in the mirror. I was dressed simply, but enough to still wow Jack. It seems if I showed up in sweatpants he'd still be wowed...he, for some reason, never hesitates to call me beautiful. Even that one time when he found me puking in the bathroom after a meal when I told him I was drunk...

My phone vibrated. I glanced down at the glowing technology that sat, charging, on my wooden end table beside my bed. It was Jack, telling me that he was outside of my apartment building.

I scampered towards my door and buzzed him in. I waited a few minutes as he liked to take the stairs than the elevator. A few knocks and the door was open.

"Damn, you're beautiful." Jack looked me up and down with his crooked smile. He had a black T-shirt on with some guy I didn't know on the front and some skinny jeans. It was his usual attire. He had some grocery bags in his hands

"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes. Same reaction...every time. "Come in."

"I'm going to demonstrate my relatively average cooking skills." He placed the bags on my kitchen counters.

"I thought we were going to watch a movie." I panicked a little more. I've never really...eaten with him alone. I've always had someone or some excuse to give him about why I needed to run to the bathroom after every meal.

"I thought this would be more interesting." He started fumbling with my pots and pans. 

"O-okay." I stuttered, going away from my door. "What are you making?" I asked him, trying to sound interested.

"Well...I'm hoping to make you Chesapeake Bay Pork Chops." He giggled, starting to put the meal together. "My mom used to make it all the time back in Baltimore...reminds me of home."

"I hope it turns out well." I smiled at him sweetly, in my head I was hoping that I'd be able to keep it down without feeling self-conscious or sick.

It was pleasant as he cooked, the smell nauseating me slightly. We chatted about the little things...and the big things...and then the future. Apparently, he had big plans for us. 

"Here we are!" Jack handed me a plate full of food as we sat at my tiny dining area that I barely ever used. Don't get me wrong, it looked delicious but my everything was telling me no.

"It looks great. I'm sure it tastes even better." I tried to enthusiastic.

"Go ahead, try it!" He insisted, already devouring his portion. I gave him a weak smile and started to cut the meat.

"Good." I nodded, a pained look in my eyes as I chewed the coarse meat. It was juicy and delicious but eating it made me feel utterly disgusting. I can't help it.

"Are...you okay?" He noticed my strange appearance.

"Yeah, fine! It's amazing. You did a great job." My stomach turned, it's habits starting to kick in as I struggled to take bite after bite without feeling horrible.

"(Y/N)..." He sighed, giving me a concerned look. "I'm starting to think you aren't drunk all of the time."

"Oh please. You know me, cray-yay-zee!" I chuckled, mouth full of food I didn't want to swallow. I nearly choked as it went down. "I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry." I shrugged.

"Its okay." He gave a weird look, staring away from me. "(Y/N)...I've known for a long time." His voice shook as he said my name. "I know what's going on here."

"Oh." I put my fork down.

"I wish you'd tell me." He flattened his lips with a pitiful look.

"I know." I looked down, feeling like I was getting scolded by a parent.

"Thank you." Jack gave a relieved smile.

"For what?" I shook my head.

"For telling me...and telling me I cook good." He couldn't get past a single second without being ridiculous.

"So now what?" I could barely look at the plate. It was full compared to Jack's.

"I can help you." He was quiet.

"Not tonight." I shook my head. "I've got a headache."

"No, we don't have to. We can start whenever you want!" He panicked as if he said something wrong. "How about we watch that movie?"

"That sounds awesome." I sighed immensely, relieved.

"Great." He lead me to my couch and found a DVD from my shelf and popped it in the player as I made myself comfortable on the couch.

Jack smiled down at me as he sat, quickly grabbing me and putting me under his arm. I felt his warm lips burn into my forehead. Unfortunately his breath stunk like pork chops.

"I'd say it was a good day." His voice was low as he turned the lamp off to put us into darkness.

"I agree." I snuggled into him further, his arm coming around me tight. At least I know I'm not alone.