Rogue

Chapter 6

Jaxson pushed her into his study. Releasing her, he closed and locked the door. Her eyes were wide with nerves, although anger still lurked in them too.

"Lose the shirt," he ordered.

Her brows furrowed, and she didn't move. She'd shown this morning that she didn't care for clothing, meaning that this was just defiance.

He growled and grabbed the back of her neck, forcing her to bend over his desk. He dealt two stinging blows to her backside, and she yelped in surprise.

"The shirt."

He released her.

She straightened hesitantly, but finally her fingers grasped the hem and pulled the garment over her head. His gaze slid over her exposed form appreciatively, before returning to the matter at hand. He sat in his study chair.

"Lay over my lap."

Her eyes went wide. Taking a step back, she darted for the door. His arms wrapped around her before she could touch the handle. She squirmed, bucking, fighting him.

Instead of commanding her still, he subdued her the old-fashioned way, demonstrating his greater strength. A small whimper left her mouth at her helplessness, and the sound sent a rush of heat through his body.

But this was punishment.

He bent her over his knees, clasping her wrists in one hand behind her back. He tipped her so that her backside presented a perfect target.

She yelped when his hand clapped down in a stinging blow. It was large enough that from fingers to palm, he covered the whole width of her bottom. Swat after swat fell until her bottom glowed red, and a steady stream of whimpers came from her mouth.

Finally, she went limp, surrendering. The wet spot on his pants told him that she was crying. He swatted her sit spots a couple times more before releasing her wrists and pulling her upright into his arms.

Her eyes were swollen, cheeks red and tear-streaked.

"Hush," he soothed, "it's alright now."

She curled against his chest, hiccupping slightly.

"I'm sorry." He brushed the sweaty hair back from her forehead. "I should have pushed her away faster."

A sob shook her, and he pulled her closer, stroking her back.

"It's alright," he whispered. "It's all alright now."

• • •

Her backside stung. Aster hid her red face in his shirt. She was mortified, not only by the way that he'd just spanked her, but by the way it soothed her wolf. Currently, the beast was contentedly rolled onto her back, exposing her belly.

Aster had always been a dominant wolf. Combine that with the way that most packs had become more... domesticated over the years, and the result was that Aster had never experienced corporal punishment, besides the occasional swat as a child.

To be dealt it now by her own mate was a shock. It made her wonder what he'd meant by public chastisement. At the time, she'd thought maybe it was some sort of labor/community service type thing. Maybe a public apology. But... he wouldn't...

Her cheeks glowed hotter at the thought, and she winced when her backside scraped the fabric of his pants. That had hurt more than she expected.

She felt calmer though. Settled. She still wasn't happy about the other she-wolf, but she couldn't deny that she'd taken lovers in the past.

Taking deep breaths to disperse the color in her cheeks, Aster pushed back from his chest.

He studied her. "Aster..." He sighed. "I don't want to push you. But I need you to talk to me. We need to communicate. There are things that have been set in motion that we need to discuss."

Aster stared down into her lap. He was right. But she didn't want to speak. There was luxury in silence. She didn't want to answer questions. It was easy to ignore the past with her wolf front and center, and her wolf... wasn't much for talking.

"What—" she murmured, forcing the words through her lips, "what do you want to know?"

                                • • •

The sound of her soft voice filled him with elation. She was talking. She wasn't breaking down.

What do you want to know? Everything. But he didn't know how long her verbosity would last. He needed to prioritize.

He took a deep breath, tugging her a little closer to him. "Why did you surrender to your wolf?" His voice was nearly as quiet as hers.

She flinched visibly. "I—" She gulped, squeezing her fists together. Her auburn hair fell over her face. "I was in the military. When I came home... I had trouble coping. My wolf provided an escape."

Concern drew his eyebrows together. If she had coped by avoiding her memories—her entire human persona—then he doubted she had dealt with anything she had experienced. Which meant that now, over three years since she was discharged, she still had all of that to work through.

"Do you have PTSD?" He brushed her hair back so that he could see her face.

Her shoulders tensed, and she avoided his gaze. "I don't know."

Troubled, he leaned back in his chair. "Why didn't you go to your family for help?"

Her mouth shut in a firm line. "We're not close. Besides, when I left my pack, it was perceived that I was abandoning them. I doubted that I would be welcome."

"So you became a rogue? Completely cut off from pack and human connections?"

"Yes." She made as though she was going to shift off his lap, but he kept his arm firmly around her waist. He didn't want her running off. "Do you have anything more relevant to ask?"

Sass. He hadn't expected it, but he kind of liked it. "I would like to mate. Officially. It's been too long since my pack had a true Luna. My mother is getting too old to fill the roll. It's too much of a strain on her."

She squirmed, and he hid the touch of smugness he felt when she winced. "I am willing to mate with you. But..." Her shoulders hunched. "I'm not a Luna, Jaxson."

He would have reveled in hearing his name on her lips had it not been for the sentence before it.

"You're not... a Luna."

She curled in on herself even more. "I'm sorry. It's just—I can barely keep myself together, let alone take on that responsibility."

His frown deepened. "I am Alpha. You are my mate. There's not much choice here. I need a Luna."

"I'm sorry." This time when she tried to pull away, he let her. Her green eyes shimmered with tears. "There's a reason I've avoided people all these years. I can't help them. All I will do is drag them down with me."

Jaxson stared at her, not knowing what to say. Her expression crumbled at his silence.

"I'm sorry," she whispered before letting herself out of the study.

He stared as the door swung shut silently behind her.