Yongguk woke up from his deep slumber when the rays of sunshine peeked through his curtains to his face. He groaned softly and tried to open his eyes. Adjusting to the light. He got up and sat on his bed, staring into nothingness. He looked to his digital clocked and startled when he realized it was the day.
He refreshed himself by taking a long bath. After, he chose to wear a loose blue shirt and tucked it into his faded black jeans.
Before going directly to his destination, we stopped at his favorite flower shop.
"Good morning Bang-ssi."
The old but not so old attendant greeted him with a happy smile. Yongguk is a regular costumer thats why the old know him.
"Good morning Mrs. Kim."
He greeted her back.
"You'll order the same?"
Mrs. Kim refered to "a-dozen-of-roses-with-six-iris" boquet which was Yongguk's favorite order.
Yongguk chuckled. "Yes Mrs. Kim. You never really forget."
"Of course."
The older winked at him. She prepared his order and gived it to him. Yongguk paid and he went outside. He preferred walking to his destination though it was sort of far. But since the weather is nice, not so hot and not so cold, he didnt mind.
After about an hour, he arrived. He tried to remember which way to go, since it takes a lot of turns to get to his love.
He sighed heavily, filling his lungs with air and breath out suddenly, trying to release the tension in his chest.
He walked slowly, gripping the flowers in his hands. He saw his love's place not so far, he jogged all the way there.
"Himchannie~ sorry I was late. Hehe, I just walked my way here. I remember what you told me before you went away; "Yonggukie, you should get out more. Don't let your self rot here, okay?"
Yongguk closed his eyes, trying to remember the exact words Himchan uttered to him.
"Oh before I forgot."
Yongguk smiled sheepishly as he handed the flowers.
"You're favorite, roses and iris."
He lay beside Himchan, he put his arms under hus head, and looked up the cloudy sky.
"I miss you so much Himchan."
Tears roll down from his eyes. He slowly and softly sang his theme song for the past year.
Cause there'll be no sunshine if I lose you baby
There'll be no clear skies if I lose you baby
Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same
If you walk away~
Everyday it will rain . . . Raa-i-n . . .
Like a cue, rain started to pour. But Yongguk didnt care if he got soaked. He want to stay with the love of his life.
"Himchannie . . "
Yongguk's voice trembled, not because of the cold feeling washing through his body, but because of the emotion that's building up on his chest.
"I miss you so much. It's been a year. A year without you, but it feels like forever already. I tried to live my life like how it used to be, like nothing's has been changed. But you forgot one thing, you were my life. You went away but brought my heart and whole life with you. I go out, trying to find someone to cheer me up, but I end up in this place, to you. Why did you have to go away? Why Himchan?"
Yongguk cried aloud, didnt care if someone might hear him or think that sanity has escaped his him.
He curled and faced Himchan. His fingers trailing Himchan's name that was engraved there. His other hand reached something on his pocket. He pulled out a small bottle with few, little white tablets.
"I know you wouldn't like this, I know. But this is the last thing I think I should do. I just wanna be with you. Im sorry if I failed you but I just wanna be with you already."
He opened the bottle cap and pour everything on his hands. He clenched his fist.
"When I see you again, I'll hug you, I'll kiss you and cuddle with you."
He closed his eyes again and tried to remember Himchan's smile. His warm smile that reached to his eyes. His eyesmile that made Yongguk fall inlove over and over again.
Yongguk put the tablets in his mouth all at once. He tried to swallow it. He had a hard time cause he forgot to bring water with him, but somehow he manage. He successfully swallowed 20 tablets, or maybe more.
His breathing went fast, he can feel his heart beating wildly. He can feel numbness creeping from his toes up to his thighs. His sight grew blurry. His head was spinning. He know his end his near.
He smiled a little. On his last moments, he remembered how he met Himchan, their first date, kiss, their moments together.
"I-I love yo-u H-himcha-n-nie. We shall meet a-agai-n."
He then fell asleep. A peaceful one. A sleep that will be. . . forever.
