TRANQUIL TERRAIN; PLACID PEOPLE

Ronnie Ray is also known to some as "The Watermelon Man."

My grandfather passed away in his sleep at 3:00 am this morning, August 29, 2020.

What a ride of life he had!

Ronnie Ray lived a full life and blessed the lives of the many he encountered over the years.

It has been such a joy and honor for me to get to know my grandfather in more depth these past four years. On this day, exactly four years ago, I received the news that my father, Kendall Amos, had passed away. After that, the snowball rapidly began rolling downhill and building momentum. The death toll of my close relatives and loved ones have been filling in very quickly.

Witnessing all my pain and heartache, Ronnie did what any grandfather would have done. He remained there in my life as a support system that firmly kept me planted. He was my rock and my foundation. Pawpaw kept me going day after day, even on those days where I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again.

That takes me back to this one afternoon almost six months ago. I felt down on life in general and felt broken in a thousand places: more so, I felt my heart had broken from a spiritual sense. I did not want to see the light of day or gaze upon the moon. Every thought or gesture to walk out the front door was just absent from my mind. I remained glued to my chair for days, and then there was an abrupt knocking on my door. To my surprise, eyes half-opened, dressed in only my boxers, my door opened to law enforcement, and medical personnel all gathered in my yard. Rubbing my eyes, I expressed I was fine, alive, and still kicking, just not in the best of moods, so I was avoiding all interactions with other living creatures.

Ronnie's anxiety was through the roof. I caused a massive panic and distress upon him and had to make it right. He was worried as he had not heard from "String" in almost a week. He was sure they'd find a dried up bean inside my home; me, the "Stringbean."

We drove off on the wheeler to chat, and I apologized to him for causing him any concern. He just asked that I keep in contact with him as he worried about my wellbeing. That day, my eyes were opened to seeing the truth. That man had compassion, and although unspoken, actions spoke louder than words. I made every effort I could ensuring at least a daily "Hello" with one another. With his Parkinson's & Alzheimer's flaring up and causing much confusion, I had to put my heartache to the side, to ensure his wellbeing and sanity. In doing so, Pawpaw helped me live! He gave me a sense of purpose and instilled in me that others do depend upon me, and even more profound, my presence and absence cause impacts upon their lives.

Through Ronnie's way of showing his love and compassion, I grew stronger in my desire to thrive and be vital to others in this life. If it had not been for him, I would have dwindled into nothingness and would have died. By no means was the process simple. Ronnie is best at lighting fires under others and fueling those fires at times. He had to help put them out by nature, he was a firefighter at heart. He would drill deeper and deeper, and ask for status updates till he was blue in his face, but in doing so, those of us inflicted might get a little angered, but that showed signs of life and interaction.

The Lord was able to bless us both with more time together to truly begin to understand one another. After having my mental breakdown from the losses of both parents, several friends, a significant other, and my canine companion, I stepped down from my 15-year career to venture into the unknown. I felt it in my heart that the job's stresses were going to do me in, so I tried to take life and live like "The Ronnie Ray Way" and cross the bridge just one day at a time. I helped him out on the farm as best I knew how, without cutting off any toes or fingers. I also learned along the way, Kyle's way of doing things isn't always the ONLY way or the RIGHT way, because there is a WAY! He also taught me to slow down and take a breath here and there. After his & Aprils house fire, they experienced a total loss of their worldly possessions and tangible memories. After moving to the church parsonage, I decided to move to town with them and help my best friend, April, with the daily caregiving and round the clock assistance, he would require through his remaining days.

Ronnie's health and wellbeing took a turn for the worst after a fall he had. I also believe he had PTSD from the fire, which would cause him to 'check-in' and 'check-out' of reality. Upon checking back in, he described an out of body experience he had during his 'check-out' periods. He described it as looking down on himself, but he looked like a bag of skin and bones, minus all the meat. He also carried on conversations with what he called the Spirit People. We defined "The GAP" in an earlier posting, and I was able to remain by his bedside as he traveled across that terrain. At 3:00 am, I felt at peace for once while being around him. I was always grateful to be allowed to be with him, but the peace was from the relief he finally had when he parted ways with his "meat-body."

Being an empath, I could feel, in my soul, the pain of his body, and torment on his mind the disease inflicted. That weight lifted upon his crossing, and I swear, I even felt Dad in the room with us. He came to take his Dad on home to tend to the Lord's watermelons on high.

With all my love to those who's shoes, I shall fill, & legacies I will honor,

-Kyle F. Amos "Stringbean"