Endless Feeling

upfront and personal

There was not a lot of sleep to be had in our house in the hours between Rachel's confession and Nate's arrival for his morning run. It was in the minutes leading up to four in the morning when Harry gave up, and I followed half an hour later. Rachel found us just after 5am and we sat around the breakfast bar, staring at each other. It quickly became a competition for who could be silent for longer. It was only Ollie who slept peacefully in the guest bedroom she'd claimed as her own. She'd gone to sleep after we returned from the hospital, and Harry didn't want to wake her to hear Rachel's revelations.

I agreed it was better to let someone get sleep. It wouldn't hurt to delay the inevitable worry and disbelief that would come when we filled Ollie in.

Nate's impending arrival was all I could think about. I could only assume Rachel and Harry were fixated on it too; but I couldn't be sure because nobody said anything after a quiet good morning when they first entered the kitchen.

Harry's phone dinged with the sound assigned to the app on his phone that synced to the state-of-the-art security system in our homes and office buildings. My heart thundered in my chest. There wasn't a long list of people who came to our house. The list was shorter at six in the morning.

"You two wait here." Harry took a handful of steps across the room before stopping and turning back to Rachel and me. "I mean it. I don't know how he will react when confronted and I don't want either of you in the firing line."

I scoffed. "Harry, he's arriving for a run. Not with an arsenal of weapons."

"I take no chances with your safety. Wait here."

Harry delivered the boardroom stare-down before turning on his heel and heading for the stairs. I looked to Rachel who rolled her eyes and shook her head. As much as Harry wanted us to stay, there was no way we would comply. I was happy to stay out of harms way—hidden away where we couldn't be seen or heard—but I didn't want to find out what happened second hand.

The worry that Harry would leave something out niggled at me. The only way I could know I got the whole truth was to witness it unfold.

"If we use the outdoor stairs, we can slip in through the utility room."

Rachel nodded in agreement and we abandoned our cups of tea for the backdoor. The stairs from the back balcony to the back patio were concealed enough for us to slip in undetected. I knew this, because the full-scale security report listed them as a potential security risk. There was no visibility on who came and went using the back stairs.

It was a problem but, in that moment, it was a solution.

We entered the utility room in time to see Harry enter the main kitchen with Nate close behind him. Gilligan flanked Harry but stopped short of him at the island counter. Gilligan sniffed, his head cocked towards the utility room door, which was slightly ajar. I froze. Gilligan was a flaw in the plan. He was loyal to Harry—his unequivocal pack leader—but Gilligan favoured me. And, in behaviour explained since I found out I was pregnant, Gilligan was more protective of me than ever before.

"Gilligan, sit. Stay."

Gilligan followed Harry's command. Nate perched on one of the bar stools, taking the glass of orange juice Harry slid towards him. Nate was distracted momentarily by something on his phone, and Harry looked towards the utility room. He caught my eye and raised an eyebrow in warning. We weren't as hidden as I thought. From where Harry was standing, his view into the room included Rachel and me.

As long as Nate stayed at the breakfast bar, with his back to the utility room, we would be safe.

"Rach didn't come home last night. You work her too hard, man. How will you cope without her when I finally convince her to set a date and go on the honeymoon? That trip is guaranteed sex on the daily. I want to cash in on that for at least a month."