So you want to kill yourself, right? You feel like you’re alone in this world, nobody cares, you have no reason to even live anymore, right? You give up, don’t you? Well if you are feeling this way right now, please stop long enough to read this. It won’t take much of your time, i’m not a therapist, I don’t want you to “talk you out of your bad feelings” or anything, I just know and I understand what is is to be in pain, I have been there, I have been down that road too.
See I don’t know who you are, I don’t know where you are and I don’t know why you are reading this, but I do know you’re reading this right now, and that’s good. Please stay here, please stay with me here, at least for a few more minutes. I am just assuming that you are here because you’re suffering, and you’ve been troubled and you have considered ending your life several times. If it was possible, I would try my best to be where you are right now, holding your hand, sitting right beside you, talking to you seeing deep through your eyes.
I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, and I have wanted to do that too, so I have a small idea of what you might be feeling at the moment. I won’t argue with you whether you should kill yourself or not, but I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad. Somewhere deep inside, you are a but unsure about whether or not you really will end your life. Being unsure about dying or being alive is normal, it is totally normal, so many people that are unsure about this, it means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, okay?
YOU are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed because you feel suicidal. All it means that you are having to cope so much more pain that you shouldn’t be coping with. It’s like if I keep pilling weights on your shoulders, no matter what, eventually you will collapse if I add enough weights no matter how much you want to stay standing up.
You need to hear that people do get through this, even people who feel as badly as you are feeling right now. I want to give you some kind of hope, that no matter how much you know you can’t live through this, so many people have been there too, and they did. Try to give yourself some distance. Tell yourself you will give yourself 24 hours or a week. Feelings and actions are two very different things, just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right at this minute.
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain, remember that relief is a feelings, and you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek if you are dead. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry, and they might actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital or try talking you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It’s okay to ask for help.
I want you to call a suicide prevention life line organization. I want you to find that person. Why call? Because no matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. When you dial any of them, you are calling the crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to your location. Your call is confidential and its free.
Suicide Prevention Life Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
