When She Left

Short Story

One time, I was told by my aunt that she would like me to participate in a cotillion. They wanted to have a formal birthday party for my cousin which was their daughter who was about to celebrate her debut. Then on the first week of February, we started practicing every Saturday and Sunday because the party was fast approaching. I travelled from Bali to Cagayan. Then I was there sitting on the bench, waiting for the practice to start. It was very tiring to wait, especially when I was hungry at the moment. Then finally, they came. My cousin, Shen, introduced her friend named Pie. I looked at her, she was chubby, cute with a bubbly face. Her smile was so simple, yet it struck me. She was my cotillion partner. Then, "Let's start!" said my uncle, who had an indescribable gender. He was our choreographer and at the same time, the event organizer as well. He was very strict. I was nervous when he shouted, "Hold the hand of your partner!" I mean, I don't know how to dance and how am I supposed to hold someone's hands whom I met for the first time. I'm a guy yet, I was the one who's shy. Fortunately, she was too friendly and had the confidence to talk to me and held my hand. We were always laughing while practicing, we really looked close that the people around us mistook our relationship. One time, she sent me a friend request on my social media account. That was the beginning of something I couldn't have avoid. Then we began chatting. We exchanged information about each other. We seemed really close in our chats but every time we see each other in practices, we always end up feeling awkward. I think it was because all of them were teasing us. And we were just like, "what?" then we were just smiling.

But that was not the unexpected moment yet. Every night after school, we were just chatting. Getting to know each others lives. Having enough closure with each other. But I never had a plan to like her. Don't get me wrong. She was likeable, but she was not the type of a woman that I would expect to fall with. That's why I was so confident that I would never fall for her. And at that moment, I already have someone whom I like. But still, we continued chatting and did small talks just like what friends do. Then one time, on the third week of February, I travelled from school to Cagayan to join the practice. All of them were already there, except me. I felt bad for making her wait. When I arrived, I saw her near the gate talking to her friend whom I really adore. Well, when we began to dance. There was a moment where we caught each other's eyes, and I was unconsciously staring at her. I couldn't even move my head nor my eyes off from her. What's worse was that, I didn't know why that happened. It just happened all of a sudden. What I knew was that her eyes were sparkling, and her smile was dazzling. She was trying to stop me from staring at her, but how could I? When I got home, as I lied down on my bed, I realized that that was the moment which everyone talks about. The one they called "falling in love."

Well, I would say that that moment was amazing. What's more amazing was that, 25th of February, on the night of the party. She said she wanted to tell me something. Her way of saying was a bit funny, but still I was glad that I knew how she felt. She typed everything she wanted to tell me on her phone and she gave it to me. I didn't knew what to do so I just smiled and laughed. I told her I liked her, but she didn't believed me because she knew I like her friend. So, I did what a man should do. Proving what needs to be proven. I did some efforts, things I didn't did before. At those times, I can even barely sleep because we were talking too much via calls. I sometimes travel to Cagayan just to meet up with her and spend time with her. And the more we spent time together, the more I was attached to her. I know it's a bit too fast, but that's how I felt and that's how it happened.

We already looked as if were girlfriend/boyfriend. But we never had any commitment. One time, she told me she wanted to join a beauty pageant from her place. It was like, she was asking permission from me if she could join. Or maybe that was her way of letting me know, I don't know. "Why not, if you want to then join. I'll be supporting you from the back," I said. I felt flattered when she asked me. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. On the night of her pageant, I was watching from the side of the stage together with her two close friends. I watched her every single second when she's on stage. She was beautiful as she walks through the stage carrying a very gorgeous smile. I was so happy when she was crowned as the first runner-up. When the event was over, I waited for her as she comes down from the stage. I grabbed her hand and helped her come down and then hugged her. Showing her how proud I am for her.

I always showed her my support in everything she did. Giving her all the time I could possibly give because we're miles apart. I gave her a necklace, thinking that it was a way of showing her how special she was to me. But then I remembered and realized that everything won't happen the way you want them to be. One time, she was mad at me for I did something wrong, I guess? I tried explaining to her and tried to approach her but she never listened. As if she was avoiding me and trying not to talk to me. I never understand why a simple mistake could ruin everything you've worked for. She made me feel uncomfortable at that moment because I was afraid that we might lose each other. Then suddenly, it just did. Suddenly, everything changed and as if everything was new to me. She never talked to me again, not even accepting my sorry. Then we completely lost our communication and she also lost her affection towards me. It happened so fast just like what happened at first. It always felt like we were still exchanging sweet words from yesterday and lost everything after that. It affected me too much that it made me do much of overthinking. I couldn't even believe myself that, a happy person like me, who would just always smile and laugh despite the difficulties I'm facing could cry. It's a bit of an exaggeration to say that it was love, but I never experienced those kind of feelings before. The experience I felt the moment she was gone. She was my greatest downfall at that moment. What hurts most was I never got the chance to ask her the real reason why she did that. Why it happened so fast and so suddenly. And only to find out that she was already dating someone else. She said that they were just friends, but it felt like they weren't. She let me experience those times when you had no idea what to do next. Well, I was really into her, maybe that's why I was so badly hurt.

But it never made me stopped to smile. It never turned me into a bitter person. In fact, I didn't changed at all. We can never change the past. All we can do is to accept it wholeheartedly that what happened, happened. The world won't stop spinning just because something like that happened. It wasn't a reason at all to make people hate life. Now, at the moment, I am over it. The both of us are friends, I guess? It was an unexpected happening for me. We can never change the past, but I still believed that we could've possibly avoided something tragic like that if we knew how to listen.