Hardly, Heart, Hard Mix Pt 2

Mentally Love Rock .

It's never hard to love,  the guard just make it hard. The last person debt should never be the next, but it's alway bags that haven't been seal or just tolerant until sick and tired was fed all the way up until you couldn't stuff no more. I question my heart only cause I feel to deep, until scroll upon a post that may hack my insecurities that release unwanted emotions. My fault ? never that .. but they always say " you go looking you might find something you don't want to see " . All these unwanted thought , unwanted feelings , when all I want is to be love without doubt and  give freely trust to my soulmate. Generation so mentally confuse it's hard to tell is you down? Or I'm yo meal ticket out ? Question loyalty , some eat they cake and have side piece for later. Secondary life is so common now a days I think it runs genetically thru the blood, Hoes. What happen to the good old days with the wife and picket fence, I crave that but my insecurities fight that. I love weirdly, simple fact people ghost only to become dead in my eyes but I carry that heavily, I feel it traps me. Toxic is attractive? Read that again . Toxic is attractive. Right.  Hard to even understand these trends that the richest kids spit out lyrically to the maturity that makes them lit. Poison bullshit  was never the crave nor the wave needed. I love but can't completely love fully everything got to stay at a distant to protect the only value I have left as a human, my heart. Heart  harder than ever but still soft in certain spots, he .. for filling my needs the love I love to crave coming from only one the whole package . Hmm? Is it true ? Where is the lie ? Now let go back & point  the finger back, myself ? Reasonable explanation to have this feeling look around it seems like we all the same but it's always a rare ones out the bunch, never did I say I was prefect just mainly wanted my imperfect to feel perfect to one who fines me & loves all of me & I be the only. Rub off that toxic thinking it kills good things that can mean a lifetime, maybe I'll stay along for the ride, these lonely trips was never the count I just chose solitude over many but you show me different it's hard to say no when yo flaws different from the rest, loyalty & honesty he wears that well . This hardly heart he cause to melt and drench with love that I rarely felt for no other. Day dream of life beyond with you. Scared to love but you give me plenty of reasons to stay, never settle. My heart melts at the melody of his voice . Damn could I be in love or is it all a dream .. I still question.. I still enjoy the ride for now but it all feels real. Let's this never end.