You and I

Part 15 - Unconditional love

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Note- a bit of mature content ahead so readers discretion is advised.

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Part 15 - Unconditional love

"Good night" is all Shaheer said before he stormed off leaving me at the entrance of my house.

I kept seeing his retreating figure as he walked through the corridor until he disappeared into the lift. With welled up tears in my eyes I shut the door and walked to my room thinking nothing in specific. All I could visualize was Shaheer walking away. Perhaps my mind grasped that sight as a symbolic representation of drifting apart... what? We could not drift apart ever, absolutely not because of such a small tiff. I fell on my bed lazily; trying to recall what happened when we were cozily coiled up in each other and having sweet conversations.

An argument was the least we were expecting tonight as we had got to spend some quality time with each other after a long time and were hoping to spend the night in each other's arms. But, a sweet little conversation that I actually started after listening to Shaheer speak so joyfully with his niece on call, turned the entire plan upside down as my mind got struck at the single moment when Shaheer had said "We both had actually dreamt of kids together..."

I felt a pang in my chest when he uttered those words... he meant that he had dreams of having children with another woman too. I was not the only woman he wanted to have a family with... This perhaps did not go well with my heart that was soft and fragile just like any normal girl at that moment, though I very well knew Shaheer's past relationships and the women in his life before. But, this revelation made me feel uncomfortable when I clearly should not have... as I absolutely knew about his past and was very well aware that I was not the first girl with whom he has slept with and had dreams of making a family with.

But, I felt an inexplicable feeling of discomfort when he said so was tough for me to take at that point of time. I did not know how I had to react, Shaheer was at no fault, he was happily sharing his thoughts about his future kids! He was honest in accepting that he did have plans of kids and marriage with another woman before me rather than bluffing or buttering me with sugarcoated talks. He was frank with me but perhaps, I was too naïve to accept the truth and process it in my mind. I had behaved impulsively. I pushed my man away when all he tried to do was love me.

I felt bad, felt weird, felt wrong... but somewhere in the corner of my heart I wanted Shaheer to tell me "No baby, I want to have kids only with you!" Though, I knew it was dumb to think that way. I felt stupid for thinking so, but brushed the thought away as my possessiveness took over my sane self. Earlier we spoke so openly about our past relationships and ex partners without a tinge of jealousy, we even laughed off discussing past incidents about them but this was something way too personal, to even think of sharing the same thoughts with some other person. At the end of the day no matter how strong, how independent and how practical woman I was, the truth zeroed up to the fact that I'm a girl. A normal girl who wants a happy love story and her man to only herself, so I comforted myself saying this was normal and not wrong to be possessive over my own man sometimes.

I wiped away my tears and decided to sleep off my thoughts as I did not want to drown myself in any negativity.

Before I slept I texted Shaheer "I'm sorry but not sorry, you shouldn't have said that..." this was more like a puzzle to understand rather than an apology. I was sorry because I had hurt him and I was not sorry because I felt he shouldn't have been so honest also!