1 - It's about a cowardly fireman and should include popcorn. Time - 1hr, 5mins.

Popcorn/CowardlyFireman

It's about a cowardly fireman and should include popcorn. Also use the sentence 'This means war.' Bonus prompt: Someone says "This means war!"

The popcorn maker whirred to life as Jacob started it up, having just emptied a large bag of buttered popcorn kernels into it and pressed the 'on' button, before heading out of the kitchen and checking on his movie, a classic comedy involving a rubber duck, a bottle of lube and corkscrew. After ensuring that evenings' entertainment was lined up, he looked across his living room at the home of his long time neighbour and rival, Winston, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, starting across the road at the diabolically mundane white brick house, wondering what he could be pondering, whilst trying to spy through his front window, grabbing a well-worn pair of binoculars and staring down them.

As he caught a glimpse at Winston's living room window, the blinds of which were drawn, he was certain he saw a pair of binoculars peering out from between the striped green curtains, before it disappeared behind them. Eyes widening in shock and awe, Jacob threw his own binoculars down in a fit of annoyance and disbelief.

"The bastard's spying on me!" he exclaimed, hands on hips. "What the hell is he doing spying on people like that?! Can't he mind his own goddamn business?!"

Jacob started walking back to the kitchen, still muttering.

"Can't believe people are okay with him still living in that place. Just because he has brought everyone pineapple and cheese pinatas every year."

The second he stepped into the kitchen however, he found the popcorn maker to be short-circuiting, already up in a plume of flames that was rapidly spreading around the kitchen countertop, melting the linoleum tops and flooring all over.

"Ah you gotta be kidding me!" he shouted out in fear and frustration, immediately backing out of the kitchen, toppling over his lounge-chair in his hurry to get away, spraining his shoulder in the process.

Quickly rushing to his feet, Jacob rushed out of the house, taking a minute to collect himself, before taking out his phone and calling the fire-brigade, where he worked actually, by which time the fire had already spread throughout his loungeroom, rapidly engulfing the rest of the house, causing him to flee to the other side of the street to get away, huffing as the call finally connected.

After his co-workers arrived, put out the fire and all spend the better part of a quarter-hour laughing at him, they departed as Jacob berated and insulted them in a fit of rage for taking so long, leaving him to re-enter the charred remains of his home, which was somehow still holding up, despite the entire structure being largely blackened and burned. The first place he went to was the kitchen to inspect the popcorn maker which had caused all of this.

Quickly taking apart the outlet, he found exactly what he suspected: it had been sabotaged. Face turning red with fury, Jacob stalked back into the soaked and blackened loungeroom, throwing aside charred and destroyed furniture in the search for his binoculars which he found within moments, half-melted and with the glass inside shattered, rendering them useless.

Regardless, he stalked back over to his loungeroom window, which was now falling apart, the glass long gone and started out it through the binoculars as a cold wind blew in through the now wide-open windows. Gritting his teeth in fury, he managed to make out the blurry image of Winston's blinds slightly parted and a pair of binoculars peering out of them again.

"AHA!" Jacob shouted, so loud the ramshackle remains of his kitchen fell in. "I KNEW IT WOULD BE HIM!"

Jacob attempted to snap the already pair of broken binoculars in his hands, which folded pitifully instead of snapping cathartically, which just infuriated him further.

"This means war....!"

Immediately hurrying out his front door, attempting to slam it in rage, though it closed rather unremarkably before falling to the ground with what would have been far more satisfying thump, Jacob stalked over to his rather pathetic little car which is perhaps the only remaining possession he had left and got in, slamming the door in rage.

Putting the key into the ignition, he turned it and the engine puttered and whined for a moment, before flaring to life finally, before a loud backfiring sound like that of a gunshot came from his ignition and the car died entirely.

Shouting all forms of profanity at the top of his lungs whilst a certain neighbour watched on with glee; munching on a bowl of popcorn for extra enjoyment, Jacob kicked open his car door, which flew so far back the hinges gave out and door broke a headlight as it came tumbling off, before getting out, just as the car fell apart entirely.

"WINSTON!" he shouted so loud that a passing mother with a pram looked over in shock as loud, grating bawling started coming from within the pram.

Staring over at his nemesis' home with its' still well constructed walls and fully functioning front door, Jacob began stalking down the street to the closest store he could find. Not without a sense of irony, he sought to repay his greatest enemy with a taste of his own buttery, salty medicine as he bought up every single popcorn maker he could find, as well as numerous extension cords and power-boards, buying them with his already largely overdrawn credit card, before stealing a shopping cart to take them all home.

Narrowing his eyes as Winston's house came back into view, he made sure that the still-there curtains to his living room were closed before bringing the shopping cart around the back of his house to where the main power supply was, hooking every single one of them into it as best he could, the plugs and outlet sparking heavily as he carted the now plugged-in popcorn makers back around his house and towards Winston's.

Laying all of them out in a row on the front lawn, filling all of them to the brim with more corn kernels, Jacob turned all of them on one after the next, all of them raring up to life, instantly popping kernel after kernel, the sound reverberating all along the street, drowned out only by Jacob's menacing laugh of victory as the popcorn makers started to overflow, spreading a relatively small amount of popcorn across Winston's lawn, who finally came out of his house to witness his futile attempts at outclassing his enemy.

Winston himself looked on in shock as Jacob continued to laugh, fingers curled in anxious victory, looking quite triumphant as his house caught ablaze behind him yet again, silhouetting Jacob's form against the fiery background, as many birds flocked to the scene to witness his victory and gorge themselves on the small mountain of popcorn that was already quickly dying out.

" Winter is long and extremely cold Winston!" Jacob shouted in victory, laughing in an evil fashion. "And you shall drown in a blizzard of salty, buttery popcorn for daring to face my vast superiority!"

Jacob continued to laugh and jest as Winston grabbed his phone and recorded the final moments of his house as it was engulfed in flame and finally fell over amidst its' owners victory.

Final Time: 01:05min