yellow beanie | jjk

32

Your eyes widen at his words. "You can't what?"

"I can't recognize faces anymore." The boy sitting opposite you smiles sadly as he delivers the news like it's nothing. 

Hearing the words a second time didn't help you overcome the shock any easier. It feels like your breath is knocked out of you as you continue to stare at Jungkook in shock. 

"You...you don't know what I look like..." you say softly, heart breaking a little even though you aren't sure why.

Even though you didn't quite phrase it to be a question, Jungkook replies gently with a nod. Your hand strangles the cup as you try to get over the shock. 

"So you go for treatment," you say slowly to which Jungkook replies with yet another nod. "And it helps?"

"Not really," he replies before rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"It doesn't improve my...condition," he says carefully, watching your face as he continues. "It just helps to maintain it, so that I don't become worse." 

"That means you'll stay like that forever?"

Your question is a mystery to Jungkook too. It's true that these cases are very rare and there is little to no hope of recovery. His only possible solution to end this suffering is, well, death. But he doesn't want to go back to that part of his life.

He had fallen into depression when he first heard about the devastating news of what would become the rest of his life. It was a very dark period of his life and, fortunately, he managed to come out from it with the help of his friends and closed ones.

"I really hope not." He laughs and you smile softly.

Now that you know about his situation, you're really starting to regret some of the things you said to him back then. You are really glad that Jungkook is still able to laugh happily everyday and that even though he doesn't know what you look like, he's still willing to stay beside you.

"I heard some good news during this trip though. The reason why I stayed for so long this time was because I had to prepare myself for the surgery." He smiles tightly.

"Surgery?" You frown, worry building within.

"Yeah, it's...new. It hasn't been widely researched on so it's still considered fairly new and unstable as a method of treatment." 

Your jaw drops, "It just means that it's dangerous!"

"Do you see a better option for me as of now?" Jungkook purses his lips as he looks at you.

You stare at him, words caught in your throat. You fidget around in your chair, trying to say something, anything at all.

"I thought so," he says with a grin.

You glare at him sharply, "Now's not the time for jokes!"

"I don't even know how much time I have left, might as well live life enjoying everyday, right?" 

You blink before hitting his arm, "Don't say things like that!" You scold the boy sitting in front of you sternly. 

Jungkook winces, a small 'ow' escaping from his lips as he pouts. 

"How did you even recognize me?" you question.

"Well there are many things I can recognize you by. Like your voice, your clothes, the way you walk. Things like that. In your case, it's the yellow beanie and of course, your voice." 

You fiddle with the beanie after hearing what he says.

Never thought a beanie would become my identity, you think bitterly to yourself. 

"Hey, don't be sad!" Jungkook laughs heartily.

"I'm not!" You fumble with your words.

"Come on, let's go. It's getting late." You fling your backpack over your shoulder before rushing out of the empty store with Jungkook shuffling behind, trying to match your speed.

Your heart beats fast when Jungkook appears beside you, looking at you secretly. His hands are behind him, clasped tightly as he looks up at the starry sky. The street is dark, filled with only the sound of snow being stepped on. The familiar feeling of Jungkook walking beside you is soothing. It's strangely calming even though he's saying and doing nothing. Just having him beside you is comforting. You sneak a look at the person walking beside you, a smile creeping onto your face unknowingly.

"I missed walking home with you," you admit softly.

"I only walked you home once though?" Jungkook raises a brow as he stares at you.

"It was enough." You smile, matching his glance.

"We haven't known each other for long but your presence really left a gap in my life, Jungkook." You see his eyes widening a little before he breaks out into a smile.

"It was boring without you in America too," he answers shyly.

You sigh, "I missed talking to you."

"I thought Jimin hyung was there for you? He's more fun compared to me."

"Yeah, Jimin was very nice to me when you weren't here, but I still like you better." You grin.

Jungkook sucks in a breath, unable to control his face as he holds his heart, crouching over as he pretends like he just got shot.

"What are these straight-forward comments! My heart can't take this!" he groans.

You slap his arm gently while giggling, "Stop!"

Even though it isn't your first time walking through this path back home, it feels new. Everything feels new when you're with Jungkook. He never fails to make you experience pleasant surprises even within old encounters. Before you know it, you reached home and it's time to say your farewells.

"I'll see you soon?" you say slowly, hoping to get the answer you want.

"I don't know...we'll see. Sleep well and don't miss me!" Jungkook smiles and waves before turning around and walking away.

You watch from a distance as he walks away. Right before he disappears, you see another person walking beside him and they both stop. Your eyebrows are furrowed, eyes narrowed as you try to figure out who the other party is. You can tell that they are holding a conversation from the way they're facing each other. At the end of their conversation, the mysterious person continues walking towards you. Since he seems to be acquainted with Jungkook, you decide to stay a little longer to identify him before going into the house. As the silhouette approaches you, you can make out a faint outline.

It's Jimin.

You patiently wait for him to run over to you, hair bouncing slightly in the moonlight. Jimin huffs, crouched over to catch his breath.

"Seol, I have something to tell you."