Closer To The Sun [Poly] [Bi]

10 - Shea

Q.O.T.D – If you're a writer, what was the name of the first main character you ever wrote? Do you even remember? xD

===============================================

🌿 . 🌲 . 🌿

Shea tried calling Campbell again before falling asleep that night. She knew it wasn't fair – eleven PM phone calls were fine before she and Campbell had started, and it was certainly fine when they had been dating, but not now. Not even after years had given time for wounds to heal. Late night phone calls, sleepy evening banter... all of that was prohibited. Especially when she was already laying in bed.

But they were cool, right?

They were cool.

He didn't pick up.

Shea rolled over in bed and drummed her fingertips against the skin of her stomach. How had she spent two years entirely by herself in the woods, but now that she could call and text and hang out with anyone she wanted, whenever she wanted, she couldn't spend a single evening alone?

She just liked people. She liked company. She liked to talk, and laugh, she even liked the shared, buzzy silence of two people sharing a room together. The occasional glances. The way the energy in a room mixed with two souls inhabiting it. There was nothing wrong with that.

She called Kayla.

"I know it's late," Shea said preemptively.

"Yeah, it's late," Kayla said patiently. Her voice did not sound like it was late. No more than usual. Kayla's voice had a smokiness to it no matter the time of day. Shea found it endlessly tantalizing. "Miss, you're going to have to learn how to be by yourself."

"I thought the whole point of us was that I didn't have to learn to be by myself," Shea said.

She could almost hear the look. "That's not what opening up is about."

"What if I want to surround myself with all the girls in the world?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Shea repositioned herself on the bed, the phone cold against her cheek, the lamp painting a sunset along her copper skin. "I'll have a girl in every room. And one to keep me company in the hallways."

"You gonna have a bathroom girl?"

"Of course I'm gonna have a bathroom girl! What part of everywhere did you not understand?"

Kayla laughed. Shea loved that laugh. It lost all of its smokiness and was just a pure, clean, crystal laugh.

"Which girl do I get to be?" Kayla asked.

Shea wanted to snarkily say Thought you made up your mind already. You're my airplane girl.

Kayla correctly interpreted the silence. "Girl, I'll be back in ten days. Two weekends."

"I know," Shea said, tracing the lines in her sheets. "But then... after?"

Now it was Kayla's turn to stay silent. Shea's fingers curled into her palms.

"It's only one summer," Kayla said.

It wasn't only one summer. There was an after that they hadn't discussed. And it loomed.

"There's just... some stuff gonna happen this summer," Shea said. Her finger traveled. Wandered. Pretended. "I wish you'd be here for all of it."

"Shea..."

"I know," she said again. "New York. Good things. Exciting."

She heard the smile in Kayla voice. "That's right. You can hold on. If I find you in the arms of some other random girl when I get back, we're going to have to talk about your attachment issues."

"Can we talk about my attachment issues in person?"

"Yeah. In, like, ten days."

Are we going to break up? Shea wanted to ask. But she was too much of a coward. There was nothing in Kayla's voice to indicate that she was pulling away. It was just that she was on her third interview for her Columbia Law scholarship. This summer she would be making connections in New York, impressing her bosses, being... Kayla. Which was to say, being incredible. New York wanted her.

Shea couldn't follow Kayla to New York. She go with Kayla to the library to study for her interviews. She could go with her to the mall to buy business casual getup that made her look like an assassin and so, so hot.

She could go to the airport to say goodbye.

No, Shea wasn't going anywhere. Not yet. It wasn't only that she was in school here. She'd follow Kayla anywhere after she figured out how to get rid of the part of Soledad that was keeping her here.

"You got Cam," Kayla said.

"Cam doesn't like to cuddle," Shea sulked.

"It is two weeks, girl."

"I know." Shea sank in her comforter and pulled her knees to her chest. "My attachment disorder will be waiting for you when you get back."

"Counting on it." Her voice was tender, and sleepy, and the conversation was over. "Love you, Shea."

"Love you, Kayla."

Kayla hung up, and then Shea was alone in all five senses of the word.

Sorry, Cam had texted her. Got distracted. You need something?

Shea pulled the blankets over her legs and rolled onto her side, squeezing into a ball.

Nah, she sent back. See you Friday.

🌿 . 🌲 . 🌿