The last thing I knew, I was falling asleep next to Will in Dauntless, having just passed initiation. But now, I realize, I'm far away from that moment. It's morning, and I'm alone, without him beside me, and I'm in Abnegation, judging by the houses around me, and the bodies clothed in grey on the streets.
I shiver as I see the bodies, and become aware of something cold, heavy, and hard in my hand - looking down, I see that it's a gun. And my finger's on the trigger. Am I the one who ended these innocent people's lives? I hope I'm not.
I notice that there are other Dauntless around me, seeming as confused as I am, finding the people they love and care about, hugging each other and sobbing, from fear or relief, I can't tell.
The sight makes me feel strangely lonely, without having Tris or Will nearby, and it brings a tear to my own eye, which I have to try to blink away.
I drop the gun clasped so tightly between my hands, and I start walking through Abnegation, looking around desperately, trying to find them. Realizing that honestly, I'm more desperate to find Will than anyone else.
I have no way of telling how long I've been looking. Time seems to drag; it could have been minutes for all I know, but it felt like hours - and perhaps it has been hours - and still, I hadn't found anyone. I start to worry, wondering what had happened. Surely I would have found someone by now.
I turn a corner, and I'm shocked to see the bodies of a few Dauntless lying on the ground. My eyes fall upon one in particular, and for a second, my heart stops, and my stomach lurches, a sick feeling rising in my throat as my hands start shaking.
Because I'd recognize that blond hair and those wonderful green eyes anywhere.
"Will?" I choke out, suddenly unable to breathe, not wanting to believe what I'm seeing. I walk up to the body, slowly, cautiously almost, and I kneel down beside him, tears back in my eyes. "Will..." my voice breaks, and I place. a hand on the side of his head, like I hope I'll get a response. I don't of course. His eyes just state at me, emotionless, and cold, when I'm so used to them being warm and full of his life and love.
I bring my spare hand to my mouth and let out a sob, unable to control the tears falling down my cheeks. "No... Will, please, no..." I sob harder, bending over his body, wishing for him to just come back, and hold me, and tell me that everything's okay. "I love you Will... I need you, you can't leave me, not when you promised me you wouldn't... You promised me, Will. You can't do this to me..."
I look back up at him, moving my hand from his cheek to close his eyes. That makes him seem more peaceful, like he deserves to be.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper gently, my voice still thick with tears. "I'm sorry you were the one that had to... had to die. If I could change it... I would." I kiss his forehead gently, and let myself fall down, crying gently into his chest. "I love you. And I swear, I'll find out who did this to you, and I'll make them pay. They can't just get away with taking us away from each other like that. And I won't let them, either."
There's the sound of footsteps behind me, and suddenly someone pulling me away from Will. I want to fight back, but it's like I suddenly don't have the strength. I see them taking him away, and I know that I'm never going to see him again. The thought makes me sob harder, and finally whoever dragged me away from him lets me go, and as I fall to the ground, everything goes dark.
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When I wake up again, I'm screaming, and sobbing, crying out for Will. I'm aware of someone beside me, stroking my hair, shaking me gently. Trying to calm me.
"Shh... it's okay Christina, everything's okay. I'm here, I'm right here, you're just having another nightmare..." I hear Will's voice, although for a moment I refuse to believe it. Will died. I saw his body. "Chris, it's okay."
I stop screaming, my throat stinging, and I look up and see him. Will. He never died, of course he didn't. It's all clear to me now; how injured he was during that attack a few years back, and how he almost died, but didn't. How, ever since, I've been suffering from dreadful nightmares, filling my head with images of his death, even after the faction system broke down. But with all of this, I'm still so relieved that he's alive, and okay.
"Will," I sob and sit up, clinging onto him tightly, afraid to let go. "Don't ever leave me, please..."
"I won't, I won't..." he whispers reassuringly, holding me and continuing to stroke my hair in a comforting way. "I won't ever leave you, Christina. I love you."
"I love you too... I love you so much," I tell him, calming down and resting my head on his shoudler, taking deep breaths.
"Better?" Will asks gently, kissing my forehead gently. I close my eyes and nod, and only then do I realize how tired I still am. But it's still the middle of the night, or maybe early morning, so I'm not surprised. "You go back to sleep. I'll watch over you, yeah?"
I smile gently and lie down, closing my eyes again. I feel Will lie down beside me, and he pulls me towards him, holding me closely, keeping me safe.
A/N: So this chapter's short... I'll try to make them longer in the future.
