For No One | Sequel of Blackbird

Part 3

1956

I came home wrecked, feeling like shit with legs and a toupee. I locked myself in my room and threw myself into bed with few thoughts and many mixed feelings at the same time.

"I'm an dick I told myself, wanting to bang my head against the wall to kill myself. Why did I do it? Why the fuck did I let her go? I loved her and now she prefers to see me dead and buried twenty-five meters deep from the sea.

My left hand rested on my head and the other I had hidden inside my pocket until I felt something inside him. I pulled the unfamiliar material out of my jeans and unfolded it. Pau's drawing. Elle, Pau and Paul with the P inverted. I started crying, feeling my heart shrink more and more, because of the emptiness that I had caused myself.

1964

"No way Paulette." I said grumpily, denying him the idea of ​​reuniting with Paul.

"Come on Elle! Just one day, a coffee. Please!" She begged me over the phone.

"Paulette, I'd rather have Jack murder me a thousand times than see that asshole again." I threatened.

"Jack is more of an asshole than Paul, trust me." She hesitated. Pau never accepted my relationship with Jack. I don't know if it was because she was afraid that he would hurt me again or simply because she didn't like him.

"Please." Her tender voice made me hesitate. And if it really changed? And if he didn't, it doesn't matter, it's just a coffee and then I can go back to my life.

"Okay. But only once." I accepted with a sigh.

"Yay! Whatever you want Sis." She said excited. Suddenly Pau hung up the phone. Was I doing well to do this? Probably not. I got up from the couch and walked to my room.

I opened the closet and took out a small red box with a bow that said 'For love is my life'. I opened it and it was the pendant that Paul gave me years ago. Despite the infinite hatred that I had for him, I couldn't help but keep this, since it is the most beautiful thing that someone gave me in life.

When I realized that I was softening, I left the pendant in a secret place so that Jack would not discover it, since he had a bad habit of rummaging through my things.

Pau called me after a while to tell me the time and place where he was going to meet Paul. I wrote down the address on a piece of paper and realized that we were meeting in an hour. I dressed a little better in a casual T-shirt, skirt and low-heeled boots.

I left home quite in a bad mood, honestly I did this so that Pau wouldn't blame me that I don't face my problems. For that, and for leave me alone with the subject about Paul.

I walked quite sullenly, peering at the streets until I saw the restaurant. Before entering, I sighed, giving my last guess if I continued or backed out. I stepped forward and opened the door with a sigh.

There is no turning back.