Fade Away

ONE

It's my first day at a new school in a new state. Don't ask me how I feel about that.

My parents and I moved to Eastview after what happened with my sister. They say it's to help me heal from the trauma by getting away from the environment in which it all went down.

In as much as they make it all about me,they can't refuse the fact that they are also trying to run away from the guilt that gnaws at them. If they hadn't left us alone for the business trip,maybe all that wouldn't have happened. We would be back at the one place that forever remains home to me and I'd be with my sister. My only best friend. I would still wake up beside her every single day.

For the record,I wasn't for the idea of moving. I wanted to stay. Yes,I was traumatized by what happened that fateful night that I lost my sister,but I still had tons of memories with her there. Since we were young. We would fight over the pettiest of things and still get back together hardly five minutes later. We walked to school together and Sydney wasn't so kind to any stranger that tried to talk to us.

She held my hand and helped me cross the road until I was old enough to do it on my own. Right now,I feel so helpless on my own. She once told me that one day she wouldn't be there to do everything with and for me. Now,it all made sense. I mean,here I am about to enter the gates of a new school. Alone. I don't know anyone. It would have been a thousand times easier if I had Sydney.

After standing there wishing for things that even I know are impossible, I finally enter the school. I am clueless on what to expect. Eastview High, here I come.

The hallway is flooded and noisy. I could get used to that. As I walk to the principal's office,I bump into someone. He's way taller than me,so I don't see his face until I look up.

"Sorry." I try my best to be polite.

"How about you watch where you're going next time?"

I must say,I didn't know what to expect earlier,but I sure wasn't expecting that.

"Weirdo." He doesn't care that I heard that. He just walks away.

Okay, maybe I'm weird,but did he really have to say it to my face? That honestly kinda hurt my feelings.

Sydney.

When I open the door to the office,I am welcomed by a warm smile from a middle age- looking lady sitting behind the desk. She must be the principal, Mrs. Gwendolyn. Judging by her looks,she is one vibrant soul.

"Have a seat, Miss Ashton." She says, gesturing for me to take a seat.

"Thank you." I slowly take a seat.

"Welcome to Eastview High, Miss Ashton. I assume you're here for your schedule."

"Yes,yes I am."

She opened a drawer and took out a file with my details. She then handed me my schedule and I stood up, ready to leave.

"Feel at home,Ally."

"Thank you," I then opened the door and walked out.

"I'll try to." I finished once I was out.

Well,I guess it's just me against the world,now.

It was a good thing the schedule came with a map, otherwise,I wouldn't know my way around the school. I first go to my locker,I mean,where would I go first?

I realise just how heavy my back pack is when I get it off my back. I quickly arrange my stuff in the locker so I am not late for my first class. I wouldn't want that on my first day. I've already gotten on the bad side of a guy I don't even know,I don't need anymore mistakes to taint my image.

My first class is Art. Thank God! I would have died if I had something like Math or History. I love art. It is the only way I can express myself without having to struggle. There's always a sketchbook and pencil with me anywhere and everywhere.

On my way to art class,the most unthinkable thing happens. I trip over my own feet in the hall. So much for a good first impression. Everything I had in my hands is scattered all over the floor. Noone cares to help me up. Instead, everyone just looks at me,laughs and go about their business.

I want to cry so bad right now.

I get up, collect my belongings from the floor and start my search for the bathroom. I'm probably gonna go home after my emotional breakdown. I've already had enough.

After going round in circles around the school,I finally remember that I have a map. I use it and find my way to the bathroom.

As soon as I'm in, I shut the door and get into one of the stalls. I sit on the toilet,face in my hands and start to cry.

Why? Why me?

I cry for about ten minutes then walk out. There's a blonde girl at the sink. I thought I was alone in here. I can't let her see my tears. She's probably going to laugh at me like everyone else. I walk to another sink and splash water on my face.

"Are you okay?" Am I hearing things,or did she just ask if I am okay?.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I didn't stop to look at her.

"You don't look okay. Do you need some help? I know you're new here,so it's probably not easy for you. I'm Melissa,by the way."

Wow,you talk too much.

"I said I'm fine. I'd really appreciate it if you leave me alone."

"Okay,but if you need anything,you can come to me." She then takes her back pack and leaves.

I feel bad that I was mean to her and she still wants to help me,but I remember what happened to me earlier. They're all the same. I'll never fit in.

It doesn't feel like home, Mrs. Gwendolyn.

I look myself in the mirror and I'm a mess. My hair resembles a bird's nest and my face couldn't look any more horrible.

You are a looser,Ally Ashton. You are a looser all by yourself.