The Engineer (Batchelor Series #2)

43

Drakon Da Vinci
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Three years of grueling medical duty have reshaped me in more ways than I expected. Physically, I’ve changed—my muscles have filled out, and my body is stronger. Nakaka-ilang nga minsan. Whenever I walk into the hospital, I can feel eyes on me—patients, nurses, even doctors. Parang may invisible spotlight sa bawat hakbang ko. Some say I’m their dream guy, a mix of brains, brawn, and charm. But honestly, I’ve never paid it much attention. Dating? I have no time for that. My priorities are set. Work comes first.

During my rounds, I often find myself thinking about Manuel. Just recently, he graduated from Spain with a degree in architecture. Not just any graduation, though. Summa cum laude. The highest Latin honor. I smile every time I remember that moment.

Sina Mama and Papa? Sobrang proud. They talk about him like he's the best thing that ever happened to this family. And maybe he is. Hindi ko masisisi, though. Manuel has always been the one with big dreams, always pushing himself to be the best. Even as kids, he'd spend hours sketching buildings, getting lost in his own world.

I still remember the call we had after his graduation ceremony. I could hear the excitement in his voice, but may halong kaba. "Kuya, ang bigat ng expectations. What if I can't live up to it?"

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Manuel, you’ve always exceeded expectations. You’ve earned this. Don’t worry about anyone else’s opinion—focus on your journey. Hindi ka pa ba sanay? You’ve always thrived under pressure.”

“Thanks, Kuya,” he said, his voice softening. “Sana nandito ka. The celebration would've been complete.”

I smiled at the memory. "Mama misses you," I said. “Pinagmamalaki ka niya araw-araw. Pati mga kapitbahay alam na summa cum laude ka.”

He laughed at that, but there was something more in his tone—longing, maybe. "Miss ko na rin kayo," he admitted.

That conversation played over in my head as I finished my rounds for the day. I could imagine Mama beaming with pride whenever she talked about Manuel, how her eyes would light up. And Papa, who never really showed his emotions openly, probably called all our relatives to boast about his youngest son’s achievement.

I envy that sometimes. Manuel's success, the way he handles pressure, and how everyone celebrates him. But it’s not resentment—it’s admiration. I couldn’t be prouder of him.

The hospital halls felt quieter as the night shift took over. After years of long hours, double shifts, and barely any sleep, I’ve learned to enjoy the solitude that comes with the night. The beeping of machines, the occasional footsteps of nurses—it’s all part of my routine now. A routine I’m used to, but at the same time, it’s exhausting in ways no one talks about.

Sometimes, in moments like these, I can’t help but let my mind drift back to Renz. It’s been years since we last talked—years since I walked away, leaving everything behind. Leaving him behind. The quiet doesn’t just fill the hospital at night. It fills my life too. Parang may kulang.

Every now and then, lalo na kapag pagod na pagod ako after a long shift, I wonder where he is. What he's doing. If he’s okay. I pushed him away for his own safety, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about him.

“Doc?” A nurse interrupted my thoughts, her voice cutting through the silence. “You’re needed at Room 304.”

I nodded, shaking off the lingering memories of Renz. There's no time for nostalgia when lives are at stake. Duty first. Always.

As I made my way to Room 304, my mind continued to battle the emotions I thought I had buried. These moments of vulnerability—they come when I least expect it, and when they do, I remind myself of why I left him. It was for both of us, for his safety. His father had made it clear I had no choice.

But the what ifs never stop, especially during the late hours when the world quiets down. What if things had been different? What if I had stayed? Would we still be together, happy even? Those thoughts gnaw at me, but I push them away because they can’t change anything.

I step into Room 304, a young patient with severe abdominal pain looking up at me. I focus on the task at hand—diagnosing, prescribing, moving forward. That’s all I can do.

When my shift finally ends, it’s already dawn. I head to the hospital locker room, stripping off my scrubs and staring at my reflection in the mirror. Mas malaki na nga ako, more defined. The hard work shows on my body, but in my eyes? There’s something missing. Something beyond the hospital walls, beyond the awards and the respect I’ve gained as a doctor.

I grab my phone and scroll through the messages. A text from Mama. Proud na proud kami sayo, anak. Hope you’re doing well."

I smile at her message, but my fingers hover over Renz's name in my contacts. I never deleted it, even after all this time. Nakakatawa nga eh, dahil kahit na years have passed, a part of me still can’t let go completely.

I sigh, locking the phone and slipping it into my pocket. I grab my things and step out into the crisp morning air. The world is waking up as I head home, but my mind is already miles away, stuck in memories of a life I could’ve had.

But that’s the thing about being a doctor. You learn to compartmentalize. I’ve become good at it—shutting off certain emotions when they get too overwhelming. Focus on what’s in front of you, I remind myself. Manuel is excelling, the family is happy, and I’m saving lives. Isn’t that enough?

Maybe one day, I’ll figure out how to move on from the past completely. But for now, I have rounds to finish and patients to care for. The rest? That will have to wait.

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