LOVE RESURRECTION

Chapter 19

"Harper wake up!"  a voice echos in my ears as I try getting hold of myself. I groan as I realize it's morning. "Harper you're gonna be late. It's 8:30 already" my mom shakes me. "Mom....I don't feel like going to school today" I mumble. "Wake up Harper. You'll be late" she pulls the sheet off me. "Ugh" I groan and sit up. "I don't wanna go mom" I whimper. "Harper there's no time for all this. I have to leave for work" she places her hands on her hip. "Fine" I roll my eyes and also drag myself to the bathroom. 

I get ready and see that I am half an hour late. 9:00 is the time my school starts and I happened to make a once in a blue moon mistake. I hurry up with the breakfast as thoughts gushed into my mind, the fight with Shelly, she walking right out of the house, but most importantly not calling me after that. I pause for a second as yesterday's events play in my mind. "Harper?" I snap out of my thoughts as I hear my mom. "I...uh...I'll go mom. I am late" I push the chair and grab my bag from the couch and walk out of the door.

I walked to the school as fast as I could. Yet I was late for the class. I also had to take the embarrassment of being late in the class as people shot their looks at me. I panted as I took my seat. It's English again, not a favourite subject yet the person regularly glancing my way is.

The class was over. The one thing I realized walking towards the lockers was that I didn't see Shelly today.

As I open my locker someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around to see Shelly standing with an apologetic look. "Shell! Hi" I say as I think what do I say next. "Harper. Uh....we need to sort things out. But you have to listen to me" she grabs my shoulders and shoots me with her concerned looks. I shrug her hands off me, "Shell I don't understand why are you doing this. So either tell me what's going on or just stop whatever you're doing."  "I can't, that's the problem" she said raising her voice. "So then stop it" I snap, "do you like me or something? Is that why you don't want me to date?" My eyes widen as I looked at her as I never had this thought before, "Shelly are you Lesbian?" I ask as her face goes pale. Before I realized I was too loud the crowd started staring at us and shooting us nasty looks. I swallow hard as I glance at the crowd. "What are you saying?" Her face contorts with irritation, "Oh my Goodness Harper, did you swear to embarrass me at every chance you get" her expression changes to rage. "I....uh....I am....." I say before she cuts me off. "Fine, I back off. I am not going to stop you. Do whatever you want and die for whoever you want. Just let me tell you one thing, you will need me. No matter what you will need me" she almost tears up before she turns around and walks back in the hallway.

I messed up so bad that it feels like I cannot get it back together. I just did something I never intended to do. I called Shelly a Lesbian in front of a huge crowd. I hear people whisper as I walk past them and I have a bit of an idea what are they talking about. This school is like a small town words spread like fire here.

I regret saying that to Shelly. I regret everything that I did to her. I feel like an impulsive bitch who has no idea what she says.

I am hungry yet don't feel like eating, so I toss my lunch box into my bag and walks right into the library.

Time seems to go slow as I take a look at my watch and see only six minutes have passed since in walked into the library. I try reading my notes but yet I can't shake the feeling of guilt that's building inside me.

I know I messed up bad today and that's the reason Shelly didn't walk me home today. In fact I didn't see her after the argument. I feel so numb as I walk home and get inside my house. I noticed my mom wasn't there I sighed in relief coz I'll be getting some time for myself.

I hopped on my couch as I drop my bad on the floor. The whole day started playing in my head. A tear rolled down my left cheek before I noticed. I try holding back my tears but the emotions seem to overpower me. I drop my head on the side of the couch and sob. I feel like a terrible person, someone who insulted her bestfriend before a crowd. I whimper as I feel more and more terrible after every tear streaming down my eye. I cry myself to sleep and don't remember anything after that.

I woke up with a piercing pain in my neck. I groan as I raised my head and sit up straight.

"Harper? What happened? I saw you sleeping when I walked in. Are you okay?" my mom looked concerned as she sat next to me placing her hand on my forehead. "No....mom. I am okay" I take her hand off my forehead and try my best not to sound sad. "I am just exhausted" I rub my neck as the pain is still there, "Aah.... My neck" I groan. "That's probably because you slept with your head on the side" she placed her hand on my neck as she carassed it. I feel a bit comfortable after that.

The rest of the evening was a blur and I was already exhausted by the day so. I lost my appetite too but I had to pretend I was okay so I ate a bit.

I hit my bed after cleaning up the dishes, I wish I could also clean up the mess I added to my life.

Shelly for a moment gave me creeps when she said she doesn't want me to date anyone, that could also mean she's jealous of me dating and being jealous means she's interested in me. But she's not that as far as I know. It's also possible though.

I drift to sleep as I thought about Shelly.