He Is Not My Daughter's Father |NCT FF|

5. New start

End of flashback.

"so what you gonna do?" asked Mei Li after a long pause.

What i'm going to do? Nothing. I don't want to do anything that would lead me to lose my only child. I wonder if he knows about this how would he reacts. Honestly, I don't want to tell him about this matter. Call me selfish or what you wanna call me , but I'm scared. Once he knows about us, he might hurt our daughter heart by rejecting her or he want to take her from me. I've seen a lot of cases like this and I don't want to deal with it. My daughter already through a lot of difficulty and rejection in her life. Her own grandparents couldn't accept her existence. How could I be sure the one that had a one night stand with me just for fun will accept her.

I sigh before taking a sip from my drink, Americano. Mei Li with her usual drink, Melon milk. I wonder why Hera likes milk so much. I'm afraid that she consumes more protein than what she needs. I don't like milk. Flavored milk such as chocolate milk or strawberry milk is okay, but pure milk is a big no. the thought of Hera forces me to try her milk is so terrifying. The weird taste from milk easily make me want to throw up an make my head dizzy.

I forgot that I'm not answering Mei Li question yet.

" I don't know Mei. I don't want to do anything. I feel that God already bless me a lot of good thing and I don't want to be ungrateful. I will work harder so my daughter don't have to suffer. I will try my best to support her, financially, emotionally. I will be both mother and father figure to her."

"i'm just wondering, what would Hera think about her father. I mean. She is just a little kid. They want what others have. " said Mei Li.

Yes, Hera asked about her father a lot, her grandparents too. Once she come back from her school, she cried. When I asked her why, she said that her friends bragging about they going out camping with their grandparents and their parents. She also asked me if her father don't want her. I don't know what to say. Even though I told her that her father died and her grandparents sick so they can't meet her, she just smarter than I thought. She asked me about her father's grave, why grandma and grandpa don't have smartphone to call or video call her.

Mei Li hold my hand and look at me. " I know, i'm not in place to tell you about this but telling her father about Hera's existence is not a crime. He accept or not, he has a right to know about this. He is not your enemy. What if he wants to be a part of her life? We don't know unless we try. Yes. You don' t want to do anything with him or you only think of him as a one night stand. But, you tell me that he wants to have babies with you. Why would a sane man want to have baby with his one night stand? No. without him, there is no Hera. Without him, you now married with someone who betrayed you. Why don' t you give it a try? As long as we live, we going to deal with rejection and acceptance. That's the beauty of life. We don't know what would happens next but we have a God to trust. We have someone to protect. Lea, let me help you. As your bestfriend and I also want to get rid of this guilty by leaving you behind.

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What Mei Li said early keep on playing on my mind.

Can I do that? A lot of "what if" thought across my head since I left the café.

i decided to ignore the feeling and leaving my room to check on my daughter.

She must be tired playing around with kids at the café. I kissed her cheeks before I sit on the couch at the living room.

What should I watch tonight? Hmmm...

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"Darly, Darly.... Why are you sleeping here?" I opened my eyes when I felt that someone shaking my shoulder.