xxL

chapter one

"I'll just be right back okay, don't worry about it" I told my mom "honey   let me just pick it up tomorrow what do you need?" I shook my head "nah I'll be back in 20, I'll next you anything that happens. Bye love youuu" I said shutting the door.

I started walking but realized how heavy I felt on my feet. So I started running. Repeating in my head 80 that's all I need to get to. That's the weight that was on my hight chart. 5'3. The bottom weight I could get away with.

That might be a lie but I don't really care that's been my goal weight for 5 and 1/2 months now. First I met up with my "friend", I met him at a party a year back. He gave a full bottle of adderal and 2gs of molly.

Like always he asked if I was going to a party, and no I wasn't. He knows I use it for weight loss, the adderal makes me to focused to eat, I don't really know the science behind it but when I started mixing the two I realized fast weight loss and that's all that matters.

He also asked if I wanted to pay in an alternative way but like always I said, maybe next time. Keeps him on the hook. I know it's wrong but him thinking he's gonna get something makes my check smaller.

I smiled and ran up the hill to Walmart. There they have 2 day detoxes, weight management pills, and apple cider vinegar. Everything that I need.

Walked back home because my knees wouldn't allow me to run, each time that I tried, I would almost pass out. It didn't stop me from trying though.

After telling my mom I was home and grabbing some dinner that was going to sit on my dresser while I eat exactly 12 blueberries, one shot of apple cider vinegar, half and half water and detox juice, one management pill, and a mason jar of water. Before I throw it in the garbage disposal and wait till morning to turn it on and clean it out so it doesn't smell.

I grabbed the pill bottle and little bag out of my back pack and set a line after swallowing the pill. I don't sleep until the day time. It allows me to miss meals without being asked why, if they do ask. I was sleeping, how am I suppose to eat in my sleep.

Usually when I peak, I'm at the park down the road, working out like a maniac. The only other people that are ever their are old people walking their dogs, they all know me and think that I work a night job up the street and when I'm there it's my brake. That's how I don't get the cops called on me.

I do have a job, it's from home and whatever hours I want. It's just preparing orders to be sent from the business I work for, it's usually food being sent to stores and restaurants. It's easy enough, spend 5-6 hours at night programing what's going out the next day, they pay me for 8 hours sometimes, as long as I answer an email withing a one hour timespans they don't care when I actually work.

I came back through my window and flopped onto my bed feeling myself sink into the mattress was the best feeling, I could feel my body relax, after a 6 hour high I was finally coming down, it doesn't last as long since it's almost an everyday thing for the past 6 ish months. At the start it was just at party's then after I notice the weight loss, it was more and more often.

After working for what seemed like 2 hours I saw the sun come up and I knew that was when I pull my black out curtains to block any light coming in, get in bed and go to sleep.