Taekook - A Secret Love Vol. 2

Outro: Ego

Tae P.O.V

Soobin bids me goodbye with such passionate morning kiss as he goes to work and I get myself ready for my doctor's appointment. Usually, Tae will come with me to the clinic but that did not happened when he went for New York months ago. He will get himself checked in case he contracted it from me and everytime I will say sorry before we could know the results. He told me he did not care and never anyone go to this length for me. I miss his company. Giving me positive vibes and ensuring to me that everything is going to be fine. As I enter the clinic, I can see Friday is quite popular. There are quite a number of patients even we had made an appointment. "Mr Kim..be right with you..the doc have to see someone urgently..you can sit with your partner first." My heart stops. "Sorry, what partner?" The nurse smiled and said. "Mr Jeon..haa..he made a last minute appointment and coincidentally someone before you cancelled his. He is at the corner." I cannot believed that he made an appointment too. Oh yes..I was with him. My mind is all over the place. Should I approach him? Should I just sit here? Too late. He came towards the counter, walk right past me. "I will be outside, call me if you cant find me." He then pull my hands away and drag me out of the clinic and to the dimly lit emergency staircase leading to the carpark. He push me against the wall. With his two hands guarding my sides, he look straight into my eyes. "I miss you. I get to know this morning that you will be here today. Can I keep you company? Please let me. I promise not to do anything else." I touch his face, full of desperation...skin so soft. "You can promise me..that I know. But I can't promise myself that I can. Please stop, kookie. Please dont make it harder than it already is. If you love me, let me go." He punches the wall just an inch away from my face, with tears slowly forming in his eyes. "What shit are you saying? How can you love someone and let him go. Where is the logic? When you fucking love someone, you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Which part did all this makes sense? Tae, I know you love me. Why do you want to let me go? I barely breathe everyday knowing you are not by my side. I wake up in an empty space. Why should we be apart? Tell me now and I let you go." Seeing him up close gets my heart racing. I wish I can kiss those lips to mend his broken heart. Tears escape my eyes and softly I tell him the truth. "Its not that I didnt love you. I cant love you..Loving you is too much for me. I dont need you to understand. Eventually you will. But if you want me to be happy, promise me you let me go and promise me that we are going to be there for each other no matter what. I need you kookie..I know its hard to go back to once we were before but at least try for the sake of everyone that we love. Kookie..you are young, rich, handsome and definitely boyfriend material..dont waste your life on me. I dont want you to suffer with this illness of mine. Its just not fair. Choose your partner wisely and live the life you deserved. Let me live my life the way I see it fit." He hugs me so tight, crying on my shoulder. "I dont want my life without you. So what if I have it? So what? I told you from the very beginning that I dont care and will never regret if I get it from you. Is this the reason you want me to leave. Not so easy. You know what..I swear I will go out tonight, sleeps with someone who have it so that we are fair and square? How about that?" To my disbelieved, he disgust me with his impulsive words. I slap him hard. "I will never forgive you if you do that shit just so you can be with me. Remember kookie. I am not playing. You will taste regret if that is to happen. Dont try me. Now fucking move." I push his hands away and head back to the clinic. With full of remorse, I sit at the corner with my head down holding back tears until my name is called.

Jk P.O.V

Seeing him walking away from me pisses me off and I could see that he meant every word he said. Loving is to let go. I hate this nonsense. Must be all the sappy movies that he had been watching. A sudden surge of pain on my bloodied knuckles and there I notice the blood on the wall. Arggh..I go to the carpark and about to drive off when the phone rings. Oh man, I forgot to make the payment. How rude. I go up again and without even looking for him, I paid and left. Going home, alone again. I immerse myself with all the pending work emails that I have to reply, just to distract myself from going deep into the darkness that awaits me. I know my days ahead will be all the fifty shades of grey and to deal the days ahead is beyond my imagination. This is my life now. Cold. Alone. Scared.